Post by asher finnegan selwyn on Dec 16, 2012 13:35:49 GMT -5
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[style=width:350px; font-family: josefin sans; font-size: 30px; letter-spacing: 0px; text-align:center; color: #000; line-height: 80%; text-transform: uppercase; padding-bottom: 5px;]ASHER SELWYN
LAW ENFORCEMENT. MELON. JAMES LAFFERTY. COP. 22 . LOST. CARING. INDEPENDENT.
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,386,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, width:130px; height: 200px; background-image: url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/d4400e3d9b4348ef8fd161f10ec37ff3/tumblr_mf39veWAgc1rqqfhbo1_250.png);][/style] | [style=height: 180px; overflow: auto; font-size: 9px;]When mom and dad finally had me, kids were basically old news. Mom gave me the attention that the youngest child in a family might receive, but my father had no use for me because I was too young to train. Which was obvious. But there was something else. I feel like he was disgusted by how small I was, because I was born prematurely. They didn't even think that I was going to make it and I had to remain in the hospital for three months. Mom told me later that no one thought that I was going to make it, but she knew in her heart that I would pull through. It's nice knowing someone had faith in me at one time, even if I was only a baby. Mom said that dad couldn't bring himself to visit me in the hospital for those three months. She said that it was too hard for him to see his baby boy in that condition but I know she just tries to make me feel better. It's quite obvious that he couldn't bring himself to come because he was ashamed that he had produced something so weak and fragile. I know he was thinking about how he could never train me to be a part of the mob like Connor. Eveen like Lennox even though he followed a different path. The point is, I got better and I survived. That should have meant something but it didn't. I was treated like glass all the way up until i was five years old. I couldn't play with the other kids my age, I couldn't start kindergarten, I couldn't do anything. I lived a sheltered life and I hated it. I hated it to the point that I was starting to be a brat as a kid, and I know I made things extremely difficult for my mother. However, as I grew, I became more bitter. He still wasn't allowing me the training that I so desperately wanted and needed. I wanted to prove myself to all of them, and as an eight year old, I started doing research on my own. I was a bright young child, and even in school I was reading books that were way over my level. So I started looking for fighting styles, and I would secretly watch Connor train with my father. They were too busy and too engrossed in what they were doing to notice me. It was something that still bothers me to this day, but I can't change it now. However, my dreams and my wishes were put on hold when I turned twelve years old. I kept getting bloody noses. They wouldn't stop for hours sometimes and my mom even took me to the hospital one time because I had grown so pale from the blood loss. I would bruise easily, and the bruises would stay for months on end. Something was wrong because I just didn't feel as good as I normally did. Mom finally brought me to the doctor. And the news wasn't good news. I had been tired and achy up until that point as well, and my mom was just worried. The doctor took a blood sample after performing a regular physical exam, and I was then diagnosed with acute leukemia. He said that because I was young, the chances of it being cured were better. They were going to start chemotherapy as soon as possible, and he wanted to run me through radiation as well. The next year of my life was excruciating and awful, and none of my siblings, except for Kahlan would even look at me. It was like they were afraid that I would break. My dad didn't even look in my direction sometimes and I do believe it was because he was ashamed. I never looked good for obvious reasons. I lost a ton of weight from the vomiting and the nausea, and I was paler than I had ever been. My mother was worried sick, and Connor was quick to tell me that I looked like a living skeleton. I felt hated by my family and I felt feared by my family. I wish now that they would have given me a chance, or some encouraging words. It would have made going through chemotherapy and radiation easier. However, it took a year until the disease was in remission, which was great news. The doctor wanted to do three years of maintenance chemotherapy to prevent the cancer from coming back. I was cleared when I was sixteen years old. And that was when I got the go ahead to start participating in sports. The doctor said it would work my strength back up. It was perfect for me, and I had always loved basketball. I practiced every day after school at home, and I started learning new fighting styles as well. While I was still quiet in school, people started knowing who I was. I was the one who had survived cancer, and the one who had made the varsity basketball team as a sophomore. People were watching me and I thought that my dad would be proud. But he never came to a single game. All of my siblings and my mother came, but he never showed. I wish he could have just come to one. Especially before he died. I was tired of being underestimated by my family and i was tired of being treated like I was glass. I know that it was because I was so sick, but the doctor had cleared me for sports. I was hit and I was shoved in basketball and I didn't break. I was fine. I had gotten better. One would think that surviving cancer would give me some credit in my dad's eyes, and even Connor's. But that wasn't the case. It was like it pushed them farther away. It was like my cancer was infectious. So that was the day that I decided I would train myself to fight and to shoot. And I did. I worked hard through all of my high school years and college as well. I wanted to prove myself and I still do. I don't want to be the fragile one in Connor's eyes anymore. I couldn't prove myself to my dad in time before he died in the earthquake, but I still have time to prove myself to Connor. I just want him to know that I'm capable of being something other than sick. My cancer has been in remission for years, and I know that it won't come back. They even shoved me into Kahlan's care in New Orleans to keep me out of trouble. I figured it was just because they didn't want to deal with me. After dad died, mom kind of went into shock even though she was strong. She moved in with her sister, and Lennox went to Scotland. Connor was in the states, as was Kahlan. Connor wasn't going to take me, so Kahlan did. I love my sister and i would do anything for her, but I felt suffocated and pressured. She never forced me to do anything but I feel like she knew that I was training myself and I didn't want to. After graduating my final year in a college in New Orleans, I moved out. I decided to come to Sapphire Bay to prove myself to Connor. I will show him that I'm worth something. I will. ________ That was all before Asher ruined a kidnapping of the sheriff's girlfriend. That was before he helped her escape with her life when he was unsure if Eli or Connor would ever let her survive. That was before he was disowned as a member of the Irish mafia, as a member of the Selwyn family. He isn't bitter for what has happened, for he did it to himself. He doesn't blame Connor for his decisions, he doesn't blame anyone but himself. And when he heard of Connor's fall from the position of the leader of the mafia, he felt no remorse. Asher has turned into a cold and uncaring individual, but that's only in his own seclusion. When he's around people that are considered his friends, he acts normally. Because how can you tell someone that your brother is Connor Selwyn and that you were lucky to be alive after what you did that was an ultimate betrayal of the mob? Asher had idolized Connor for so long, but the violence of that night had been unwarranted and uncalled for. He would never see eye to eye with Connor, and the fight that ensued between Asher and Connor afterward was something no one expected. The brothers had always gotten along, but not this night. It was the night Asher was disowned and he'll never forget it. He doesn't talk about it, tries not to think about it, and he's living life normally as a police officer in Boston. He wants to right the wrongs that he himself has done, and what better way to do it? It is known that he is a Selwyn and no one on the force trusts him, but he doesn't care. He's become a solitary individual, but he always does his job. The only thing that he will never do is give up his brother. While he knows Connor will never forgive him, it doesn't matter. He will never give up the mafia or Connor, no matter what it means for him. He still loves his family despite everything, even though he'd never admit that. |
