((R)) POSTCARDS AND POLAROIDS ((ELI))

[CONNOR GREGORY SELWYN]

CONNOR FINALLY KNEW WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE. HE WASN'T THIS MAN WHO PRETENDED TO BE GOOD, BUT WAS, IN FACT, A COLD-BLOODED KILLER. HE WASN'T A 'NICE' GUY, AND ALTHOUGH HE HAD ROMANCE AND AN ABILITY TO BE SWEET WITHIN HIM, IT WASN'T ALL OF HIM. HE WASN'T AN ENGINEER OR A BUSINESSMAN, HE WAS IRISH, THE RIGHTFUL HEIR TO THE IRISH MAFIA, AND A KILLER. IT DEFINED HIM, BUT NOW IT WASN'T ALL OF HIM. BEFORE, WHEN HIS FATHER WAS STILL ALIVE AND THEN, AFTER WHEN HE'D BEEN FORCED TO STEP INTO THE GAP, THE MAFIA HAD BEEN ALL OF HIM. IT HAD FORMED HIM, MOLDED HIM, AND HE'D LOST HIMSELF IN IT. HE HAD LOST THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE AND FORGOTTEN THE LIFE LESSONS HIS FATHER HAD TAUGHT HIM. HE'D BEEN SO CAUGHT UP IN BEING A SOLDIER, HE'D BECOME TOO BLOODTHIRSTY TO SEE PAST HIMSELF.

HE'D FELT WEAK WHEN HE SHOWED EMOTION, AND HE COULDN'T ADMIT HE STILL DIDN'T, BUT HE KNEW IT WAS NECESSARY. HE WAS A STRONG MAN, AND A STRONG MAN HAD TO BUCK UP AND ADMIT HE WAS HUMAN. HE HAD TO STOP HATING HIMSELF BEFORE HE COULD LOVE ANYONE ELSE. WITHOUT THAT LOVE, THAT SENSE OF LOYALTY TO CREATE A FAMILY, A NETWORK, HE REALLY WOULD LOSE THE MAFIA ALTOGETHER. THAT COULD NOT HAPPEN. BUT FOR THAT TO BE SUCCESSFUL, HE HAD TO STRAIGHTEN OUT HIS PERSONAL LIFE FIRST.

WALKING UP TO THE BUILDING WITH HIS HANDS RESTED LAZILY IN HIS POCKETS, HE WATCHED THE DARK FACADE AND EXAMINED THE FIRE ESCAPE. THIS REALLY WAS A SHITTY NEIGHBORHOOD, BUT HE DIDN'T EXPECT ANY DIFFERENT. ELI KNEW HOW TO BLEND IN, AND HOW BETTER TO BLEND IN THAN TO LIVE IN THE SLUMS? IT WAS GENIUS, AND HE WAS SURE A BIT SELF-INFLICTED AS WELL. HE HATED HOW SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS A LESSER PERSON BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HE DIDN'T WANT HER. HE HAD TO KNOW SHE WAS A WHOLE WOMAN OUTSIDE OF HIM, OR THIS COULD NEVER WORK. HE HAD TO PROVE TO HIMSELF SHE WAS THE STRONG WOMAN HE'D ONCE KNOWN. IF HE'D BROKEN HER TOO FAR FOR GOING BACK, HE'D NEVER FORGIVE HIMSELF.

CONNOR WOULD HAVE LIKED TO SAY HE WAS DRUNK AS HE BEGAN CLIMBING THE FIRE ESCAPE, BUT HE WASN'T. HE WAS DEAD SOBER, AND THAT WAS MORE FRIGHTENING THAN IF HE'D BEEN SOUSED. HE WAS DOING THIS OF HIS OWN ACCORD, HAVING TO KNOW ONCE AND FOR ALL. HE'D HAD MONTHS TO CONTEMPLATE HIS LIFE, TO ASSESS HIMSELF AND REALIZE WHAT HE WAS AND WHAT HE NEEDED TO BECOME. BUT HAD ELI COME TO THOSE SAME REALIZATIONS?

BRUSHING HIS BLACK DUSTER COAT OUT OF THE WAY, HE PULLED A KNIFE OUT OF HIS BOOT AND SHIMMIED OPEN THE WINDOW, SLIDING IT UP ALMOST SOUNDLESSLY AND SLIPPING INTO THE ROOM. HIS BOOTS MADE A DELICATE THUNK ON THE FLOOR AS HE LANDED IN THE ROOM, AND HIS EYES TOOK A BRIEF MOMENT TO ADJUST TO THE UTTER DARKNESS. THE MOMENT HE REALIZED HE'D ENTERED HER ROOM, HE INSTANTLY REGRETTED THIS METHOD OF VISITING HER. THE SIGHT OF HER SMOOTH CURVES BENEATH THE SHEETS INSTANTLY GAVE HIS BODY PAUSE AND HE KNEW HE SHOULD HAVE JUST KNOCKED ON THE DOOR, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT MOST LIKELY. DESPITE BEING AWAY FROM HER FOR A YEAR AND THEN MONTHS THERE AFTER WHEN SHE FOUND OUT HE'D BETRAYED HER, HE WAS STILL WILDLY ATTRACTED TO HER AND HE COULDN'T THINK STRAIGHT.

BUT HE SET HIS MIND TO THE TASK, AS HE WOULD TO A KILL, AND HIS LUSTS ABATED. MOVING TO THE BEDSIDE, HE LOOKED DOWN AT HER, ASSURING HIMSELF SHE WAS ASLEEP. SHE COULD SIMPLY BE PRETENDING AND COULD SWING AROUND AND STAB HIM IN THE LEG AT ANY MINUTE, BUT FOR A MOMENT HE WOULD IMAGINE HER PEACEFUL. SHE DESERVED THAT AFTER ALL HE'D PUT HER THROUGH. REACHING DOWN, HE GENTLY BRUSHED BACK HER BLOND HAIR, HIS FINGERTIPS CARESSING THE SIDE OF HER FACE.

MOVING AROUND THE BED, HE GENTLY LEANED OVER THE SMALL MATTRESS AND LOOKED AT HER RESTING FACE. THE BED CREAKED WHEN HE KNELT ON IT, LAYING BESIDE HER ON THE NARROW SURFACE, BUT HE DIDN'T CARE. SHE WOULD AWAKE EVENTUALLY, IF SHE WASN'T ALREADY. REACHING FOR HER FACE, HE GENTLY PLACED A HAND ON HER CHEEK AND LEANED IN TO HER, KISSING HER LIPS SOFTLY, ALMOST NOT TOUCHING THEM AT ALL.

"ELI..." HE WHISPERED GENTLY, OPENING HIS EYES TO LOOK AT HER AGAIN. "ELI, WAKE UP."

CRAPPY LAYOUT BY ME.

[ELI LILLIAN BRYNE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #222222 8px solid; background-color: #1f0000; background-image: url(http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx40/tippykazoo/Caution/light.jpg);] [atrb=width,450] The young woman had changed in the months that had followed the moment she had shared with Connor. When she had saved him from whatever mess he had been in when he had discovered the truth of the situation, she had realized that she needed to save herself. She hadn't done it alone. She had Deacon to lean on, to trust in, to rely on. He truly was her best friend and she didn't know what she'd do without him for the most part. He had made her into a stronger person again. He had let her see her for who she truly was. He had allowed her to accept herself and what she had become. A part of her would always be broken. There was no way to heal what she had lost, to erase what she had suffered through. But that was just it. It was all in the past and she needed to let go. She would never forget the life that she had carried within her but it wasn't something that could control her. If she allowed it to consume her anymore then she'd never be able to survive. So she had thrown herself into her work, taking on jobs that would overwhelm any normal assassin. But she was not normal. She had become bloodthirsty. She had become someone who she never thought she would be. She didn't enjoy killing. It wasn't something that she needed in order to survive, but it was certainly something that made her forget. But it was something that allowed her to lose herself and that was exactly what she needed. Her days had become consistent, predictable even. Some nights she spent with Deacon, but other than that she was out on the job. She would kill her target, sleep the night, then wake up and start researching for her next mission. She'd meet Deacon for lunch every day without fail at the same place at noon. It had become their ritual and she looked forward to it. It was what made her day in all honesty. The normalcy of the routines had allowed her to start to heal. She was by no means one hundred percent, but she was nothing of the mess she had been after Connor had told her that they were soul mates. As Eli readied herself for bed she thought back to that day. She had thought it had ruined her, but instead it had only made her stronger. After she had sobbed herself to sleep in Deacon's arms that night, she woke up a changed woman. Connor wanted her. He just wasn't ready to want her at the moment. He needed to heal himself before he could face her and that was okay. She had to be patient and she always would be when it came to him. Her love for that man was something that couldn't be matched by anything else. They were soul mates. They were meant to be together but not as they were then. She had been a mess, shattered to pieces that couldn't be put back together at the time. But Deacon and herself had been working on putting the puzzle back together and today she honestly felt that it was complete. She had been laughing with him, actually enjoying herself. She found herself looking forward to waking up the next morning. Everything was okay again. Everything would be okay again. Nothing was broken forever, including her. The only time she was affected by her past was in her sleep because she couldn't control her dreams. So as she settled down onto the full sized mattress, she clung tightly to an old sweatshirt that had belonged to Connor. It had lost his scent a long time ago but the fact that it had belonged to him was something that brought her comfort. Closing her bright blue eyes, it only took her moments to fall to sleep. However, only minutes later, she was having a dream that she hated. It was of the future, and it involved Connor and their baby girl. Eli had wanted to name her Ava, and that was what they were calling her in this dream. Ava was playing with Connor, and the man was actually, truly smiling. He looked happy, truly happy and it filled Eli's heart with warmth. They were a family and everything was alright in the world. However, suddenly, things started moving more quickly in the dream and she was aware of Ava wandering off. Eli called out to her, as did Connor, but the little girl just kept moving faster and faster. And what she saw next froze her. Her screams intensified as she watched the car spinning out of control after hitting the baby girl. Connor ran to Ava's side, begging her to live, but Eli knew it was too late. And then she woke up. Lips were on her lips, a gentle hand was on her cheek. She tensed visibly, blinking the sleep and the fear away from her eyes. Her heart was racing wildly, and she tried desperately to blink away the tears before they could be seen. She was stronger than this. Realizing who the mystery stranger was, she willed herself to stop crying. She didn't want him seeing her like this. She didn't want him thinking that she was just as weak as he had left her. "Connor? What are you doing here?" She asked in confusion, her voice croaking because of the state of sleep she had just been in. For some reason, she wanted to tell him what had just happened but his mere presence threw her. He could only want something, right? Trying not to panic, she spoke, her blue eyes wild as she stared into his gaze. "Is something wrong? Is your family okay? Do you need my help?" It could be the only thing that made sense. He needed her services, and she'd give them to him. She was changed, she had changed. She would help him if that was what he required.

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[CONNOR GREGORY SELWYN]

CONNOR WAS NOT THE MAN HIS FATHER HAD BEEN. KYSON SELWYN, ALTHOUGH CAPABLE OF EXTREME BRUTALITY WHEN PROVOKED, WAS A CALM, COOL-HEADED MAN WHO LOVED HIS FAMILY AND PUT THEM ABOVE ALL ELSE. CONNOR HAD DONE THAT TO A DEGREE - HIS SIBLINGS AND HIS MOTHER AND UNCLE OWNED HIS LOYALTY ABOVE ANYONE ELSE ALIVE - BUT HE HADN'T GRASPED THE NEED TO BEGIN HIS OWN LINE. HE'D SEEN ELI AS SOMETHING HE OWNED, SOMETHING HE COULD BARTER WITH FOR A TEMPORARILY BOUGHT ALLIANCE THAT HAD NEVER BEEN HIS TO BEGIN WITH. HIS FATHER WOULD HAVE NEVER APPROVED. KYSON HADN'T WANTED HIS SON TO TURN INTO THIS, THIS MONSTER. HE WAS A SHADOW, AND A POORLY DEVELOPED ONE, OF WHAT HIS FATHER HAD WANTED FOR HIM. HE'D TAKEN THE IDEALS KYSON HAD SET UP FOR THE MAFIA, AND FOR HIS FAMILY, AND HE'D PERVERTED AND TWISTED THEM UNTIL HE WAS AS BAD AS THE ENEMIES THEY FOUGHT.

THAT HAD TO CHANGE.

CONNOR HAD TO THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT HIS FUTURE AND WHAT HE WAS TO BECOME. HE HAD TO BECOME A REAL MAN, NOT SOME TERROR. HE HAD TO EARN RESPECT, NOT THREATEN IT OUT OF PEOPLE. AND THE FIRST TEST WOULD BE ELI. IF SHE COULD RESPECT HIM, IF SHE COULD TRULY FORGIVE HIM AND STOP HATING HIM FOR WHAT HE'D DONE TO HER, THEN HE WOULD BE ON THE RIGHT TRACK.

AS HE LAY DOWN BESIDE HER, HE NOTICED HOW DEEPLY SHE WAS SLEEPING, WITH HER BROW FURROWED AND THE OCCASIONAL WHIMPER LEAVING HER LIPS. IT WAS APPARENT SHE WAS HAVING A BAD DREAM, AND HE FOUND HIMSELF, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS ADULT LIFE, WANTING TO COMFORT SOMEONE INSTEAD OF HURT THEM. SPENDING TIME WITH ANNICE HAD CERTAINLY OPENED HIS EYES TO THE SOFTER SIDE OF THINGS. HE'D BEEN PRETENDING WITH HER, PLAYING THE PART OF A GOOD GUY, BUT HE'D REACTED SINCERELY WHEN VICTOR HAD ALMOST KILLED THE GIRL. HE'D THROWN HER TO THE SIDE AND SHOT THE BASTARD, NOT THINKING TWICE ABOUT THE HEROIC DEED. THAT MOMENT WAS WHEN HE REALIZED THERE WAS STILL HOPE FOR HIM. HE WASN'T MERELY PROGRAMMED FOR DEATH, BUT ALSO FOR PROTECTION. HE REALIZED HE WAS CAPABLE OF CARING ABOUT SOMEONE'S WELL-BEING OTHER THAN HIS OWN, AND SAVING A LIFE INSTEAD OF TAKING IT.

WHEN THE NIGHTMARE BUILT, THAT WAS WHEN HE KISSED HER, WANTING TO WAKE HER FROM THE DREAM TO THE REALITY WHICH WAS AT LEAST SOMEWHAT BETTER. HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT FROM HER REACTION, BUT HE WAS RELIEVED SHE DIDN'T DRAW A WEAPON ON HIM INSTANTLY. INSTEAD, SHE LOOKED AT HIM WITHOUT RECOGNITION AT FIRST UNTIL SHE REALIZED HE WAS IN FRONT OF HER. THEN SHE WENT INTO BUSINESS-MODE, BUT IT WASN'T CAUSTIC AS THEIR LAST MEETING HAD BEEN. THERE WAS NO HATE IN HER EYES, EVEN AS HE'D SEEN WHEN SHE'D TOLD HIM SHE LOVED HIM IN THE SHOWER AFTER HE'D MURDERED THE RUSSIAN MAFIA IN BOSTON.

HER QUESTIONS WEREN'T MEANT FIGURATIVELY, BUT THAT WAS HOW HE INTERPRETED THEM, AND HE SMILED A SAD SMILE BEFORE BRUSHING HER BLOND HAIR AWAY FROM HER FACE AND LOOKING INTO HER BLUE EYES. SMILING WAS SOMETHING HE HAD ONLY DONE AROUND HIS FAMILY, WHEN HE WAS REALLY COMFORTABLE OR WHEN HE WAS LAUGHING AT ANOTHER'S EXPENSE, THAT WAS UNTIL ANNICE. SHE'D SOFTENED HIM, MADE HIM APPRECIATE THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE AND HELPED HIM TO REALIZE IT WAS FINE TO SMILE AND IT WOULDN'T MAKE HIS FACE FALL OFF.

"NO, MY FAMILY'S NOT ALRIGHT," HE ADMITTED, RUNNING HIS HAND DOWN HER SLENDER ARM UNTIL HE REACHED HER HAND. HE GENTLY LACED HIS FINGERS THROUGH HERS AND PULLED HER HAND UP TO HIS LIPS, FEELING TIMID TO SHOW AFFECTION SINCE IT WAS FOREIGN TO HIM. HOW WOULD SHE REACT? WOULD SHE THINK HIM WEAK AND FOOLISH? DID HE CONSIDER HIMSELF WEAK AND FOOLISH? HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK, BUT HE NEEDED HER NOW.

"IT DOESN'T HAVE YOU IN IT." THE WORDS LEFT HIS LIPS SOFTLY, BUT HE WATCHED HER FERVENTLY. HE FELT SO EXPOSED, SO OPEN AND VULNERABLE, FEELINGS HE HAD DESPISED ONLY MONTHS AGO. NOW HE UNDERSTOOD WHAT HIS FATHER HAD ALWAYS TAUGHT HIM: WITHOUT LOVE YOU ARE NOTHING. YOU ARE NOT A MAN WITHOUT LOVE, AND CONNOR HAD NOT BEEN A MAN UNTIL HE'D ADMITTED TO HIMSELF THAT HE LOVED ELI BYRNE. HE NEEDED HER TO BE HIS OTHER HALF, THE HALF OF HIM THAT MADE HIM BETTER: HIS SOULMATE. HE NEEDED A STRONG WOMAN TO RULE AT HIS SIDE IF HE WAS GOING TO TAKE HIS MAFIA BACK, AND HE NEEDED A WOMAN WHO COULD HANDLE HIM THROUGH THE YEARS. HE WAS A KILLER, WHETHER HE'D FOUND A SOFTER SIDE OF HIMSELF OR NOT, AND HE COULDN'T HAVE SOME WOMAN WHO DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT ABOUT HIM. INSTEAD, HE NEEDED ONE WHO KNEW HIS MIND, KNEW HIS INTENTIONS, AND SUPPORTED HIM WITH HER FEMININE WILL. HE BELIEVED ELI WAS THAT WOMAN.

CRAPPY LAYOUT BY ME.

[ELI LILLIAN BRYNE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #222222 8px solid; background-color: #1f0000; background-image: url(http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx40/tippykazoo/Caution/light.jpg);] [atrb=width,450] She didn't hate him anymore. That hate had subsided months ago when Deacon had started making her better. There was no room for hate in Eli's heart anymore. Her heart had become something so small that there couldn't be any space to waste for hate. She loved only a few people in her life, and one of those was Connor. She couldn't hate him any longer. She understood why he had done what he had done, and she should feel almost honored in a way that he believed her worthy enough to trade her for an alliance. She just wished that the trade had actually worked, and it hadn't been for nothing. Maybe he wouldn't have been so beaten, so downtrodden, if the trade had actually worked. Maybe he would be successful now. But if success had come with that, would it mean that he was here in front of her now? What if that success had come with her death? Eli felt a chill run through her thin body as she lay next to him, her eyes searching his for an answer to her question. She couldn't think like that. She had developed the mantra of what was done was done, and now was the time to move on. Eli had moved on, had become comfortable with her body and what had happened to it. The scars were something that would always bother her in way, but she had become accepting of them in front of Deacon. With Connor, it was an entirely different story. She wished that she was wearing more than she was wearing right now. The small tank top didn't cover her shoulders or her arms where the cigarettes had burned her skin. It didn't do anything to hide the R that was branded on her right wrist, where the Russians had staked their claim on her. It did nothing to cover the rest of the marks across her body, and of course, she wore nothing but a pair of underwear. She didn't sleep in much, she never had. But it allowed him to see the scar traveling up the side of her shin and her ankle, where she had needed surgery to repair the broken bone. Taking a deep breath now, she exhaled softly, trying not to think about it. He wouldn't judge her. She prayed that he wouldn't think her too disgusting to even look at anymore, but in her heart, she knew he would have never come here if he wasn't ready for something more. Her bright blue eyes held none of the haunting emotions that they had held that day in the shower with Connor. She was stronger than she had been then, she was more than just the shell she had been. While she was more bloodthirsty then she had ever been before, she was stronger. That was the point here. In Connor's separation from her, she had learned herself all over again. Eli had been disgusted with herself and her weakness, but Deacon had shown her that it was alright. It was alright to let her guard down and it was alright to allow herself to feel. It was alright to be a human. Shaking those thoughts from her head now, she was suddenly focused on Connor once more as he gently brushed her hair back from her face. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she watched him, as she felt his gentle touch. Nothing about Connor had been gentle in the past. This was something that made her heart skip a beat as it raced in her chest. She felt as if he could hear her heart pounding, for she certainly could. When he said that his family was not alright, Eli's eyes widened suddenly. "Connor, what happened?" She questioned, whispering in the darkness that surrounded them. But he didn't answer her at first. Instead, he ran his fingers gently down her arm, only stopping once he had laced his fingers with hers. As he brought her fingers to his lips, timidly, Eli realized what he was doing. He was finally ready. Ready for a relationship, ready for them to be them again. They were both different now, and she realized that he was being tender, that he was being gentle. And he was afraid. He was afraid of the new him, the him that wanted to protect, to comfort, to be almost human in a way. Connor needed her now, to show her that it was okay. She knew how to show him because she had just been shown. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled softly and let him know with her eyes alone that this was okay. She would never judge him, she would never hold this against him. As he explored his softer side, she would only be what he needed. As he spoke once more, Eli's lips parted in surprise. She hadn't expected that. But it was everything that she wanted to hear and more. Letting out a whoosh of air, she inched closer to him in the bed, her body pressing up against his now. "Connor, I want to be with you again. I'm ready, if you're ready. All is forgiven, I promise you from the very bottom of my heart. I love you. I've never stopped." She admitted to him, petrified as she spoke. Never in her entire life did she believe that she would say those words to Connor, but they were words that he desperately needed to hear. In this situation, she needed to be strong for him. She needed to lead him and let him know that this was okay. As her fingers stayed near his face, she gently touched his lips, slipping her fingers across them gently. She moved to outline his features, exploring the face that she had missed so much. He needed to know how she felt so he could know that it was okay to feel the same way, if he did. "I missed you." She finished in a whisper, baring all to him, letting him know everything. Leaning forward now, her lips captured him in one of the softest kisses that she had ever bestowed upon anyone.

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[CONNOR GREGORY SELWYN]

HE'D NEVER CONSIDERED HIS FATHER A TENDER MAN, BUT NOW HE KNEW HE HAD BEEN. ALTHOUGH KYSON HAD NEVER BEEN OPENLY TOUCHY-FEELY OR EMOTIONAL, HE LOVED HIS FAMILY DEEPLY. HE'D SHOWN THE MOST RESPECT TO HIS WIFE, AND HE'D VALUED HIS CHILDREN ABOVE ALL ELSE. THAT WAS THE REAL REASON HE'D SENT CONNOR BACK TO EUROPE AFTER HE'D RAPED THAT ITALIAN GIRL. IT WASN'T JUST TO PUNISH HIM, AS CONNOR HAD BELIEVED AT THE TIME, BUT IT WAS TO TEACH HIM A LESSON, TO TRY TO TURN HIM INTO A BETTER MAN. AND CONNOR HADN'T GOTTEN THE PICTURE. HE'D HAD TO GO THROUGH LIFE THE HARD WAY TO LEARN THAT LESSON, AND NOW HE WISHED HE'D JUST OPENED HIS MIND AND SKIPPED ALL OF THE DRAMA HE'D CAUSED HIMSELF AND THE OTHERS AROUND HIM.

HE KNEW ELI WAS CONFUSED AS HE TOUCHED HER GENTLY, PROBABLY EXPECTING HIM TO DO SOMETHING CRASS AND RUDE AS HE WAS KNOWN FOR, BUT THIS WAS NECESSARY. IT WAS NECESSARY TO THEIR DEVELOPMENT AND TO HIS OWN. HE NEEDED TO MATURE PAST THE MURDEROUS VIOLENCE OF HIS YOUTH AND BECOME A REAL MAN. THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY HE WOULD HAVE THE STRENGTH TO TAKE THE MAFIA BACK; THE ONLY WAY HE COULD EARN ELI'S LOVE. AND HE NEEDED HER LOVE AS MUCH AS HE NEEDED HIS FAMILY. HE'D ALWAYS VALUED HIS FAMILY ABOVE ALL ELSE, AND ELI WAS PART OF THAT FAMILY, OR SHE WOULD BE IF SHE WANTED TO BE.

AND THEN SHE WAS CONFESSING SHE HAD FORGIVEN HIM, AND THIS TIME, HE BELIEVED HER. HE HADN'T SEEN IT IN HER EYES THAT DAY IN THE SHOWER, AND ALTHOUGH HE BELIEVED SHE DID LOVE HIM THEN, IT WASN'T LIKE THIS. THIS ELI WAS STRONG AGAIN, A NEW WOMAN OR A REINVIGORATED VERSION OF HER OLD SELF. THIS WAS NO LONGER THE BROKEN MESS HE'D TURNED HER INTO BY SELLING HER TO THE RUSSIANS. HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAD LED HER THROUGH THAT DARKNESS, BUT JUST AS ANNICE'S PRESENCE HAD LED HIM OUT OF IT, ELI HAD BEEN SIMILARLY SAVED.

HE FELT HER TENSE INADVERTENTLY AS HE ADMITTED SHE LOVED HIM AND HAD NEVER STOPPED, AND HE ALLOWED HIMSELF TO SMILE. "ELI... I HAVEN'T SHOWN IT WORTH A DAMN, BUT I'VE NEVER LOVED ANYONE BUT YOU," HE ADMITTED, LOOKING DEEPLY INTO HER EYES AS SHE RAN HER SLENDER FINGERS OVER HIS LIPS. SHE CARESSED HIS FACE AND HE WATCHED HER BEAUTIFUL FACE IN THE DARKNESS AS SHE TRAILED HER FINGER DOWN HIS CHEEK. "I MISSED YOU TOO, AND I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE." HE MEANT IT. CONNOR WAS CAPABLE OF EXTREME LIES, AND HE WAS PRETTY GOOD AT IT, BUT HE WAS ALSO A VERY SINCERE PERSON WHEN HE SAW THE TRUTH IN SOMETHING. HIS FEELINGS FOR HER WERE UNLIKE ANY HE'D EVER KNOWN, AND HE KNEW SHE WAS THE ONLY WOMAN WHO COULD EVER MATCH HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. A WOMAN TO COMPLIMENT HIM IN ALL OF THE EXTREMITIES OF HIS PERSONALITY WAS ALL HE COULD ACCEPT; AND THAT WOMAN WAS ELI BYRNE.

SHE LEANED TOWARD HIM THEN, HER LIPS PRESSING INTO HIS, AND HE ACCEPTED THE KISS BY RETURNING IT. HIS HAND WENT TO THE SIDE OF HER FACE, AND HE FELT HIS COLD, BLACK HEART SOMEHOW THAWING IN HIS CHEST. WHEN THE KISS WAS OVER, CONNOR OPENED HIS EYES AND EXAMINED HER, FEELING HIS HEART RATE PICK UP. HE WASN'T ONE TO GET NERVOUS, BUT HE GOT EXCITED WHEN HE HAD A GOAL IN MIND WHETHER IT WAS REMOVING A TARGET OR DRIVING HIS CAR. FROM THE MUNDANE TO THE EXTREME, HIS LEVEL OF EXCITEMENT DROVE HIM AND SET HIS MIND ON HIS GOALS.

"I NEED YOU IN MY FAMILY, ELI," HE STATED HUSKILY AS HIS HAND CARESSED THE SIDE OF HER FACE AGAIN. "WILL YOU BE PART OF IT? AND I DON'T MEAN LIKE YOU WERE BEFORE..."

HE PAUSED AND PUSHED HIS HAND INTO THE DUSTER JACKET HE STILL WORE OVER HIS CLOTHING. IT WAS A SIGN OF EXTREME SELF-CONFIDENCE THAT HE'D EVEN BROUGHT THE ITEM WITH HIM, BUT THAT WAS CONNOR FOR YOU. WITHDRAWING THE BOX, HE SET IT ON THE BED IN THE INCHES BETWEEN THEM AND LOOKED OVER AT HER WITH A SMALL SMIRK ON HIS HANDSOME FACE. "I NEED YOU TO MARRY ME. YOU CAN SAY NO, BUT I CAN'T GUARANTEE I WON'T MURDER SOMEONE OUT OF GRIEF IF YOU DO." HIS EYES HELD ALL OF THE SINCERITY HE FELT, ALL OF THE LOVE AND DESIRE HE HAD FOR HER. HE NEEDED HER TO BE HIS WIFE, WANTED HER TO BE, AND EVEN IF SHE THOUGHT HE WAS INSANE TO SHOW UP HERE THIS NIGHT WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IF SHE STILL HATED HIM OR NOT, THAT WAS FINE. HE PROBABLY WAS INSANE, BUT THAT DIDN'T MATTER. ALL THAT MATTERED WAS HE NEEDED TO MOVE ON, AND HE COULD ONLY DO THAT WITH HER BY HIS SIDE.

CRAPPY LAYOUT BY ME.

[ELI LILLIAN BRYNE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #222222 8px solid; background-color: #1f0000; background-image: url(http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx40/tippykazoo/Caution/light.jpg);] [atrb=width,450] Eli didn't realize how restless she had been without him. As he settled in front of her and her eyes were allowed to look at him she felt comforted. It scared her that his mere presence could put this sense of calm on her shoulders, but it did. She didn't want him to leave. Or rather, she didn't want him to leave without her. Eli had taken up a permanent residence here simply because it was what she could afford and because it allowed her to blend in. While she did get paid a lot, she put most of it away in her savings because she didn't know when an emergency would call for a large sum of money. She only used what she really needed, which wasn't a lot at the moment. Sighing to herself in contentment, she allowed herself to continue tracing his face, her fingers light and gentle on his features. She felt like she was being allowed to stay up late, past curfew, or do something that normally wouldn't be allowed. It was silly, she knew, but it sent the butterflies fluttering in her stomach and her heart beat only raced as she studied him. He was handsome, but there was something different in his once cold eyes. He looked...sincere. It caused her breath to catch in the back of her throat, and as he smiled, she found that it was infectious. A small smile worked its way onto her strained features and she spoke quietly, whispering in the dark. "You're smiling. I love your smile." She admitted and then realized what she had said. A blush crept up her cheeks and she was thankful for the darkness that surrounded them. At least he wouldn't be able to see her embarrassment, but he was so skilled at her reading her that she figured he would know. Somehow, some way he would know. Her eyes moved from his lips, back up to his own gaze and she allowed herself to become lost in them once more. She had missed him more than she had ever thought possible. She wanted nothing more than to lay in his arms all night long, to listen to his voice bring her the comfort she so desperately needed. Eli was strong. She was stronger than she had ever been before. But with this new strength came the realization that it was okay to need someone. She had hated herself for it before now, but seeing him here, seeing that he needed her too...this was okay. They needed each other and in that weakness, or what they both thought was weakness, was their biggest strength. In their admittance, in their realization that they both needed one another, they grew stronger. When he said that he had never loved another, she believed him. She knew that Connor didn't say things like that unless he actually meant them. While he was a professional liar, she knew in her heart that this was not a lie. Studying him as he apologized, Eli suddenly held his beautiful face in her hands. She didn't want to hear anymore apologies, she didn't want to hear anything about what had transpired. In order for her to heal, she had had to forget. And forgetting the baby that had been theirs was something that was the most difficult thing she had ever had to do in her life, but it was necessary. Stemming the tears that threatened to swell over the memory of who would have been their baby girl, she took a deep breath and lost herself in the tender kiss that they shared. And when they broke apart, she didn't want him to see her face. She was afraid that he would see the pain in her eyes and she didn't want him to think that he had caused it. Inching closer to her, she was about to press her face into his chest, but then she saw him reaching into his pocket as he started speaking to her. Pulling back a bit, her fingers trailed down his neck to rest on his chest. Her eyes searched his as he spoke, and then suddenly... there it was. A box. And not just any box. A little black box. Fear and hope and joy filled her heart and flowed to her eyes, and she sat up quickly, her long blonde hair spilling over her shoulders and framing her face as she stared at the box. Hearing his words, she looked to him, her eyes wide as she gazed into his. "Connor...are you serious?" She questioned him in utter disbelief. This, she hadn't been expecting. This was something she would have never expected in a million years. But they were soul mates. He had admitted that to her months ago. What should she had expected? "Connor...I...yes. Yes I'll marry you, but...I just...you have to see me first." She reached out to tentatively touch the black box, but didn't open it. No, she wouldn't open it until he saw her. He wouldn't want her then. It sounded silly, and a part of her knew that it was, but he needed to see. She was completely insecure with the way that she looked now, especially in front of him. While she had felt fine and accepted in Deacon's presence, this was different. This was Connor. This was the man that she had wanted and needed from day one. She looked down at him, afraid to take the box in case he pulled it away. "I would love nothing more than to be your wife, to be yours Connor..but you...you have to see. You have to know so that...you can take it back when you see." She told him, her fingers shaking as she reached for the hem of her tank top. Still sitting up right in bed, she pulled it from her, letting it fall on the floor beside the bed. Turning slightly, her back was exposed to him and the scars littered her, covering her once unmarked back. She reached to turn the light on and it illuminated the small room, showing him what he could not see in the dark. She was disgustingly mutilated and it humiliated her. She looked at him now, pulling the blankets from the rest of her body, letting him see. This wasn't to rub it in his face. She was over everything that had happened. He just had to see for himself that this was what he was getting. "Do you still want to marry me?" She whispered quietly, watching him. "Can you even touch me? Or look at me?"

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[CONNOR GREGORY SELWYN]

WHEN ELI SAID SHE WOULD MARRY HIM, ALTHOUGH SHE OBVIOUSLY THOUGHT HE WAS JOKING HER, HE FELT SUCH A RELIEF AND SUCH A THRILL HE COULDN'T DESCRIBE IT. HE WAS USED TO EXCITEMENT AND THE THRILL OF THE HUNT, BUT THIS WAS DIFFERENT. THIS WAS A JOY HE'D ONLY FELT IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS FAMILY, AND EVEN THEN IT WAS DIFFERENT. THIS WAS LOVE, AND IT WAS FOREIGN AND FRESH TO HIM. CONNOR SELWYN HAD NEVER BEFORE BEEN A LOVER. HE'D BEEN A KILLER, HE'D BEEN AN ASSHOLE, HE'D BEEN A BETRAYER AND A MONSTER. BUT NOW HE WAS A LOVER, AND IT WAS EXCITING IN ITS NEWNESS.

HE REACHED FOR HER TO KISS HER IN HIS ECSTASY, BUT SHE PULLED AWAY FROM HIM, LEAVING THE JEWELRY BOX UNOPENED BETWEEN THEM AS SHE SAT UP IN THE DARKNESS. HIS BROW FURROWED IN DISAPPOINTMENT AND CONFUSION AS HE WATCHED THE SHADOW OF HER OUTLINED IN THE MOONLIGHT COMING THROUGH THE WINDOW HE'D BROKEN THROUGH. HE HEARD HER WORDS ABOUT TAKING BACK THE RING ONLY DISTANTLY THROUGH HIS GROWING HAZE OF CONFUSION.

THEN HER ARMS LIFTED, REMOVING HER SHIRT AND DROPPING IT TO THE FLOOR. HER BREASTS BOUNCED SLIGHTLY WITH THE MOVEMENTS, AND HE WAS INSTANTLY AROUSED DESPITE HER BELIEF HE WOULD BE DISGUSTED BY HER. HE HADN'T SEEN HER NAKED SINCE THE LAST TIME THEY'D HAD SEX, AND THAT HAD BEEN WELL OVER A YEAR AGO NOW. HE HADN'T BEEN ABLE TO STOMACH ANY OF HIS USUAL WHORES SINCE THEN, AND HE HADN'T BEEN ABLE TO ADMIT TO HIMSELF THAT IT WAS BECAUSE HE ONLY WANTED ELI. HE'D TASTED HER, AND NOW HE COULD NEVER GET ENOUGH. THE LIGHT FLICKERED ON, ILLUMINATING THE FULL GLORY OF HER BODY AS SHE TURNED SLIGHTLY. THE SILKEN LINES OF HER SCARRED RAN IN CRISS-CROSSING PATHWAYS OVER HER BACK, SOME IN PATTERNS THAT HAD OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOLED OUT IN GROUPS WHILE OTHERS LOOKED LIKE BATTLE WOUNDS.

FOR AN EVER-SO-BRIEF MOMENT HE WONDERED IF SHE WAS DOING THIS TO REMIND HIM OF WHAT HE'D DONE, BUT AS HE SAW HER FACE, SO TIMID AND UNSURE, HE KNEW THAT WASN'T THE CASE. SHE WASN'T BEING SPITEFUL; SHE HONESTLY NEEDED HIM TO SEE HER, ALL OF HER. SHE BEGAN SPEAKING AGAIN, HER VOICE PROBING HIM AND WORRIEDLY ASKING IF HE STILL WANTED TO MARRY HER OR EVEN LOOK AT HER. RAISING UP, HE SLID SWIFTLY ACROSS THE SMALL BED, HIS LEGS CLOSING HER IN ON EACH SIDE. HE SHED HIS JACKET TO THE FLOOR AND HIS HANDS INSTANTLY WENT TO HER SKIN AS HE LEANED FORWARD, HIS LIPS TOUCHING THE TOP OF HER SHOULDER.

"SHHHH," HE SILENCED HER, PULLING HIS OWN SHIRT OFF OVER HIS HEAD AND TOSSING IT TO THE FLOOR. HE PULLED HER AGAINST HIS CHEST, FEELING THE RIDGES OF HER SCARS AGAINST HIS OWN SCARRED CHEST. HE HAD KNIFE MARKS AND SCARS FROM BULLETS HE'D GOTTEN IN GUNFIGHTS, THE WORST IN HIS SHOULDER WHERE HE'D BEEN ALMOST KILLED BY THE BULLET OF AN ITALIAN TRYING TO PROTECT HIS RELATIVE'S HONOR.

"I'VE ALREADY SEEN YOU, AND I COULDN'T WANT YOU MORE," HE REPLIED SOFTLY, HIS LIPS AGAINST HER SKIN SO HIS HOT BREATH CRESTED ON HER SHOULDER. "THERE IS NO MORE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN." HIS HANDS TOUCHED HER SHOULDERS, SLIDING DOWN HER ARMS UNTIL HE REACHED HER ELBOWS. MOVING FROM HER ARMS, HIS FINGERS TOUCHED HER SIDES AND SLID TO HER HIPS WHERE HER UNDERWEAR WERE THE ONLY ARTICLE OF CLOTHING TO RESIST HIM.

"I'VE NEVER WANTED ANOTHER WOMAN THE WAY I WANT YOU," HE ADMITTED HONESTLY, HIS VOICE GROWING HUSKY WITH DESIRE. NOT HAVING SEEN HER THIS WAY IN OVER A YEAR, ESPECIALLY SO OPEN AND TIMID UNDER HIS WATCHFUL EYE, HE COULDN'T HARDLY CONTAIN HIMSELF. HE'D MASTURBATED, BUT THAT WAS NOTHING TO THE WAY SHE MADE HIM FEEL. IT WAS UNFULFILLING AT BEST, AND HE WAS SEXUALLY DESPONDENT AND DEPRESSED, AND THE SIGHT OF HER BODY THAT HE CONSIDERED PERFECT WAS OVERPOWERING. "YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL," HE WHISPERED AS HE LOOKED OVER HER BODY IN THE GOLDEN LIGHT OF THE LAMP. THE WORDS CAME OUT AUTOMATICALLY WITHOUT HIM PUSHING THEM, AND HE LEANED OVER TO KISS HER SHOULDER AGAIN, TRAILING THOSE KISSES UP TO HER NECK AND THEN TO HER JAWLINE.

"I WANT YOU," HE WHISPERED HOTLY, HIS AROUSAL TURNING HARD AGAINST HER BACK, "IT'S BEEN TOO LONG. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU DO TO ME, MY LOVE. TELL ME YOU WILL MARRY ME." HE SMILED AGAINST HER JAW, HIS LIPS TOUCHING HER, TEASING HER. HE HADN'T PLAYED WITH HER LIKE THIS BEFORE; IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN ALMOST BUSINESSLIKE AND HATEFUL BETWEEN THEM. THEIR SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS BEFORE HAD BEEN A BATTLE, A FIGHT FOR SEXUAL PROWESS, BUT NEVER A SWEET, TEMPTING THING LIKE THIS. HE WANTED THIS AND KNEW SHE NEEDED IT AS WELL. HE WANTED TO GIVE HER THAT. HE WANTED HER TO HAVE WHAT SHE NEEDED. HE HADN'T INTENDED FOR THIS ENCOUNTER TO LEAD TO SEX, BUT HE ALSO HADN'T ANTICIPATED HER TAKING HER CLOTHES OFF IN FRONT OF HIM EITHER. IF SHE DIDN'T WANT IT, THAT WAS UP TO HER, AND HE WOULD RESPECT HER WISHES FOR ONCE, BUT EVERY FIBER OF HIS MANHOOD PRAYED SHE WANTED HIM RIGHT NOW. OR HE JUST MAY EXPLODE.

CRAPPY LAYOUT BY ME.

[ELI LILLIAN BRYNE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #222222 8px solid; background-color: #1f0000; background-image: url(http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx40/tippykazoo/Caution/light.jpg);] [atrb=width,450] As she remained on her knees on her small mattress, she waited for his response with bated breath. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as she waited for his disapproval, knowing that it was coming soon. When he saw everything she knew that he would change his mind. He would take the ring and he would take his words back. She should have showed him her scars long ago. Maybe then he wouldn't have struggled so horribly in the way that he had. Sucking in a breath as he remained silent, she closed her eyes. She should have known, she should have prepared for this. Keeping her eyes closed, she reached for her long blonde hair, for it was falling in waves down her back. Maybe he just couldn't see everything with it in the way. She reached for it now, her hands wrapping it together and pulling it over her shoulder, exposing herself for him to really see what she had become. Yes Eli was strong. But this part of her...this part was forever timid. She was hateful towards what she had become. She hated her scars. They made her feel weak and like she was less of a person. They made her feel like a monster, like a freak. He would see her as a freak. It was the only thing that made sense to her. So when she felt the mattress shift with his weight as he moved, she didn't dare open her eyes. He was leaving. She didn't blame him. However that realization didn't steel her emotions as she believed it would. Instead, she felt the tears rising in her eyes, feeling a sense of worthlessness once more. If the man who had claimed that they were soul mates didn't even want her in this state, what did that mean for her future? Would she remain unwanted forever? Trying not to panic, she felt her body begin to shake without her permission, the trembles traveling up and down her spine. She didn't know why she was shaking, and she couldn't cease the action. It was happening and no matter how hard she tried, she could not stop it. Wrapping her arms around herself, she tensed suddenly, for she could feel how close he was to her. Furrowing her breath, she didn't open her eyes yet, hardly wanting to believe what was happening. Why hadn't he left? Why was he still here? "Connor..." But he silenced her with his touch and his gentle sound, asking her to hush with his body language and his voice. Still trembling, she leaned back against him as he took her in his arms, his legs providing her with an added sense of security. Her hands moved from where they were holding herself to rest on his thighs, her fingers clenching around the fabric of his pants. She was holding on for dear life because she was petrified that if she let go, he would suddenly be gone. She was terrified that this was all a dream and if it was, she didn't want to go on anymore. That would be too much for her heart to take. While she was strong, if this wasn't her reality, she didn't want to ever wake up. It was then that she felt his lips on her shoulder, and that simple act sent knives up and down her spine. He aroused her in that simple moment and she knew that this was no dream. Her fingers tightened once more but this time not out of fear but out of desire. When he pulled away from her for that small moment, a soft whimper left her lips. She needed his touch, she thirsted for his touch. She wanted him, but not in the ways that she had wanted him when they had had sex before. She didn't want this to be just sex. She wanted him to make love to her, she wanted to know that he was doing it because he loved her. Nearly breathless already, she heard his words, feeling his bare chest against her soft back. Their scars touched and she instantly felt alright in his eyes. He loved her for her and still believed she was beautiful. She heard it from his own lips, in his own voice. As he spoke to her, telling her she was beautiful, telling her that he had only wanted her, she lost control of herself. "Connor, I need you.." She whispered breathlessly. Her skin felt like it was on fire from his simple touches, from his gentle ways. She couldn't stand it anymore. She had never been this aroused by a man before, and she could already feel herself ready for him. She couldn't wait any longer. A groan of desire left her lips as she felt his hardness on her back and she moved herself easily, turning so that she could straddle him. Hearing his request, Eli smiled, leaning forward to kiss his lips softly, tenderly, her passion increasing as she merely sat in his lap. "Yes Connor Selwyn. I'll marry you." She told him, her hands resting on his chest as she pulled away from him. Reaching to the side where she knew the ring box was, she flipped it open to reveal one of the most beautiful rings she had ever seen. It was large, but it was simply designed, something that fit her exactly. Speechless, she held the ring out to him, taking his hand in hers and pressing the ring against his palm. Leaning forward, she whispered in his ear. "Put it on for me, please. And then make love to me, Connor. Please, I can't be without you for another moment." She requested of him, her voice low and husky, filled with desire. She let her lips travel to his neck, kissing down his jawline, lingering over his lips, then moving down to his chest. Coming up for air she looked at him expectantly, wanting nothing more than to be with him again.

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template by tippy of caution.

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[CONNOR GREGORY SELWYN]

ELI TWISTED SO SHE WAS STRADDLING HIM SIMILARLY TO HOW SHE HAD IN THE SHOWER WHEN HE'D BEEN IN HIS DAZE, BUT THIS TIME WAS DIFFERENT. HER PLUMP BREASTS WERE AVAILABLE FOR HIS EYES TO REVEL IN THEM, AND HER EYES BURNED WITH DESIRE FOR HIM. HE WANTED HER SO BADLY, AND IT HAD BEEN FAR FAR TOO LONG SINCE HE'D HAD HER, BUT HE ALSO SENSED THAT A VITAL KEY TO THIS WAS DIFFERENT THAN EVERY TIME BEFORE. THIS WASN'T A ROUGH, VIOLENT SITUATION AS IT HAD BEEN EVERY OTHER TIME BETWEEN THEM. THEY'D HAD SEX IN A DESTROYED KITCHEN THEIR VERY FIRST TIME, AND THEN HAD GONE ON TO DESTROY HIS SHOWER AT A LATER DATE. OTHER ENCOUNTERS HAD INVOLVED BANGING UP INTO WALLS IN THE HALLWAYS OF THE IMMENSE MANSION HE'D ONCE OWNED AND SCREWING IN THE MACHINE SHED IN THE BACKYARD AS WELL AS CHRISTENING THE BACKSEAT OF ONE OF HIS FAVORITE CARS AFTER TAKING OUT A TARGET. EACH TIME THEY'D HAD SEX, IT WAS THRILLING AND EMOTION-FILLED, BUT IT HAD NEVER BEEN MAKING LOVE LIKE HE KNEW THIS TIME MUST BE. HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO BALANCE PASSION WITH GENTLENESS, AND HE HAD LITTLE PRACTICE WITH GENTLENESS IN HIS LIFE. THE ONLY PEOPLE HE COULD IMAGINE EVER BEING GENTLE WITH WERE HIS MOTHER AND SISTER, AND THINKING ABOUT THAT WAS A BIT AWKWARD IN THIS SITUATION.

ELI'S HANDS RESTED ON HIS CHISELED CHEST AS SHE AGREED TO MARRY HIM, AND HE SMILED SLIGHTLY, HIS FACE STILL UNUSED TO A SINCERE GRIN. SHE REACHED FOR THE RING, PRESSING IT INTO THE PALM OF ONE OF HIS HANDS AND ASKING HIM TO PUT IT ON HER. THEN SHE PLEADED WITH HIM TO MAKE LOVE TO HER, AND HIS HEART AND DICK LEAPT WITH EXCITEMENT. THIS WAS A CHALLENGE, A BATTLE WITH HIMSELF, BUT HE COULD DO IT. HE LOVED A CHALLENGE, DARED LIFE TO CONFRONT HIM ON A DAILY BASIS, AND THIS WOULD JUST BE ANOTHER. HE WAS ALWAYS SUCCESSFUL, AND YES, HE WAS A CONFIDENT ASSHOLE, BUT THAT WAS PART OF WHAT ELI LOVED ABOUT HIM, HE SUPPOSED.

HER LIPS LEFT HIS EAR AND KISSED DOWN HIS JAWLINE, TEASING AT HIS LIPS BEFORE KISSING HIS CHEST. HE SMILED A LUSTY SMILE THEN, HIS EYES ALIGHTING WITH FIRE THAT HE SUPPRESSED AS HE REMINDED HIMSELF THIS TIME WAS DIFFERENT. HE MUST KEEP THE BEAST AT BAY AND ENJOY THE GENTLE SIDE OF LOVING.

TAKING HER HAND IN HIS AS SHE SAT UP, HE FORCED HIMSELF TO REMAIN CALM AND PUSHED THE RING ONTO HER SLENDER RING FINGER. WHEN THE RING WAS AFFIXED IN ITS LIFELONG RESTING PLACE, HIS HANDS SLID AWAY FROM HERS THEN, GLIDING TO HER HIPS AND UP HER STOMACH TO ENCOMPASS HER BREASTS. THEY FILLED HIS HANDS AND HE STARED THIRSTILY AT THEM, TWISTING HIS HAND TO RELEASE HER NIPPLE INTO HIS MOUTH. HE SUCKED IT GENTLY, HIS GREEN EYES LOOKING UP AT HER TO SEE THE REACTION ON HER FACE. SMILING WITH SATISFACTION, HE RELEASED HER FROM THE HOT CONFINES OF HIS MOUTH AND RAN HIS HANDS DOWN HER SIDES ONCE MORE. HE REACHED HER THIGHS, FEELING EVERY INCH OF HER, EVERY SCAR AND EVERY SMOOTH SECTION OF SKIN AS HE CELEBRATED HER BODY.

LEANING FORWARD, HE BURIED HIS NOSE IN HER CHEST, BREATHING IN THE SMELL OF HER LIKE A STARVING MAN BREATHES THE SCENT OF A STEAK. HIS TONGUE TOUCHED HER CHEST JUST BELOW HER RIB CAGE AND TRAVELED UPWARD BETWEEN HER BREASTS IN A HOT, WET LINE. HE SMILED WICKEDLY UP AT HER, HIS AROUSAL PRESSING UP INTO THE GAP BETWEEN HER LEGS EVEN THOUGH HIS PANTS WERE STILL ON. ONE OF HIS HANDS WENT TO THAT AREA EVEN AS HE LOOKED AT HER, WATCHING PATIENTLY FOR THE SURPRISE IN HER EYES AS HIS FINGERS SLID BENEATH HER UNDERWEAR AND TOUCHED THE WET BETWEEN HER THIGHS. SHE WAS ALREADY PREPARED FOR HIM, AND IT TOOK EVERY OUNCE OF HIS WILLPOWER NOT TO SLAM HER DOWN ON THE BED AND FUCK HER SENSELESS.

BUT THIS WAS DIFFERENT, HE REMINDED HIMSELF. THIS WAS THEIR UNION AS LOVERS, AND IT WAS IMPORTANT THAT IT BE THIS WAY. THERE WOULD BE TIME FOR ROUGHNESS AT ANOTHER DATE. AFTER A YEAR APART AND SO MUCH HARDSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM, HE DESERVED THIS VERSION OF A REUNION AS MUCH AS SHE DID. SHE DESERVED TO BE LOVED SINCERELY AND GENTLY, NOT HARSHLY AS WHAT THOSE RUSSIAN BASTARDS HAD DONE TO HER. HE DIDN'T KNOW IF SHE'D HAD SEX SINCE THEN, AND THE THOUGHT OF HER BEING WITH ANOTHER MAN IN THIS INTIMATE WAY MOMENTARILY SET HIM ON FIRE WITH JEALOUSY, BUT HE HAD BEEN WITH NO WOMAN OTHER THAN HER. ANNICE HAD GIVEN HIM OPPORTUNITY, BUT HE'D BEEN A GENTLEMAN AND HAD DECLINED. SO MUCH SO THAT SHE PROBABLY THOUGHT HE WAS GAY OTHER THAN THE OCCASIONAL KISS THEY HAD SHARED, BUT THAT WASN'T HIS CONCERN.

GENTLY BUT WITH STRENGTH, HE LIFTED HER SLIGHTLY FROM HIS WAIST, TWISTING HIS BODY SO HE WAS ABOVE HER AS HE LAID HER BACK ONTO THE BED. DRAGGING HIS BODY UP BETWEEN HER LEGS, HIS BONER PRESSING HARD INTO HER LEG, HE BEGAN TO KISS HER, FIRST ON HER LIPS AND THEN DOWN HER JAW TO BENEATH HER EAR. PUSHING HER HAIR ASIDE, HE KISSED HER NECK AND THEN DOWN HER COLLARBONE TO HER CHEST. HIS MOUTH INSTINCTIVELY RETURNED TO THOSE DELICIOUS BREASTS, AND HE TOOK EACH IN TURN, SUCKING THEM UNTIL HE HEARD HER WHINE WITH PLEASURE. SHE WAS HIS NOW, AND HE COULD PLAY WITH ANY PART OF HER AS HE HAD NEVER DONE BEFORE.

HE SMILED AS HE LIFTED HIMSELF BACK TO LOOK INTO HER FACE, ONE HAND VENTURING BENEATH HER UNDERWEAR TO PULL THEM FROM HER BODY AS HIS FINGERS RETURNED TO TEASE HER. "YOU SAID YOU NEEDED ME, MY LOVE, BUT HOW BADLY DO YOU NEED ME?" HE ASKED, EASILY TEASING HER AS HE MANAGED TO KEEP HIS OWN DESIRES UNDER CONTROL. WHEN IT CAME TO SEX, CONNOR HAD ALWAYS BEEN A SELFISH MAN, WORRIED MORE ABOUT HIS OWN PLEASURE THAN THAT OF HIS PARTNER. BUT IN THIS SITUATION, HE WANTED HER TO BE AS VICTORIOUS AS HIM.

CRAPPY LAYOUT BY ME.

[ELI LILLIAN BRYNE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #222222 8px solid; background-color: #1f0000; background-image: url(http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx40/tippykazoo/Caution/light.jpg);] [atrb=width,450] Eli's breath caught in her throat as she straddled him, feeling the heat rise between her legs simply by touching him in this way. Her desire for him this time was different than all of the other times she had wanted him. This time she wanted to make love with him, she wanted to be with him, but she yearned for a gentleness that she had never found with him. She knew that their sex life had been nothing but rough and fast and hard, and while a part of her knew that she would enjoy that side of sex again, she just couldn't handle it that way. Not now. Not yet. The Russians had been rough with her. They had thrown her in any position that they had wanted to take her in and she just couldn't bring herself to accept that yet, even if she was with Connor now. She hid the fear expertly from her eyes, knowing in her heart that she didn't have to fear him. But the Russians had engrained a fear deep down inside of her very soul. She was terrified that they would find her again and she knew that this time she wouldn't survive what they did to her. Sighing softly, she tried to forget about them. This wasn't about the Russians. This was about her and this was about Connor. This was about them learning a new side to one another and she needed this. She needed and wanted his gentleness. She wanted him to touch her softly and while she knew it would drive her mad, she craved for it. Everything between them before this had been extremely rough. The way that they had sex in the past had always been fulfilling to her needs and her lust but this had to be different. This had to be their meeting as lovers, as engaged individuals. She would be his forever and this act, as silly as it sounded, was what proved that to her. If he could be gentle with her despite his desires and his wants she would know that he loved her. It was stupid, really, that he proved his emotions with his actions, but he would understand. He always understood her. It was then that she felt his hand shift in hers, moving so that he could take her left one. And she smiled. A true, genuine smile. A smile that she had never smiled for him before. It was timid, it was sincere, it was loving. The smiled she fixed upon him now was a smile that she would only ever smile for him. Her blue eyes found his quietly, and then she looked down as he slipped the ring into her finger. Breathless from the reality of this situation, she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and lay with him for the entire night. But her stomach ached with the need of release and she knew that eventually, they would lay together, but not after they were both satisfied. It had been more than a year since she felt his hands on her body. It had been more than a year since she had allowed herself to think of him in this fashion. That was too long. Her desire for him was leaping in her chest and she didn't know how long she could contain herself. But she needed to. She couldn't go after him with a reckless abandon. Everything about this needed to be slow, it needed to be soft. It was a step for them, a hard step, but it was a step she was more than willing to take. As his hands explored her scarred body, she tensed for a moment, remembering the mutilations on her skin. He would feel the R on her wrist, branded there for life. He would notice the cigarette burns, he would feel the grooves from where she had been stabbed and cut. Her brow furrowed in that instant and from his simple touch alone, she whimpered. The very fact that he was touching her and wanting to touch her made her heart clench with hope and love. She loved him. She loved this man with all that she was and with all that she had to give him. As his mouth touched her breasts, Eli's body trembled with her want for him. A desperate moan left her lips as he simply played with her, not even fully pleasuring her. And then he touched her. His finger slipped expertly beneath her underwear and her eyes widened, her pupils dilating as he pleasured her. It was a tease, a promise for what was to come, but it made her fingers tighten on his shoulders all the same. He was driving her wild with his soft touches, with his slow movements. It took all that she had to control herself, to remain tender. It was difficult for them both but she just kept thinking that this was what they needed. It was important to their new relationship. Clinging to him now as he removed his hand, she nearly cried out in disappointment. She didn't want him to stop touching her, she couldn't let him stop touching her. "Please..." She had never begged him. She had never pleaded with him to touch her and it showed her timid side. It showed a side of her that she had never wanted him to see, but he saw it now. Closing her eyes as he moved her, she let him, not resisting as she had so many times in the past. This was a different sort of challenge from them both. Laying back on the small mattress, she looked up into his eyes for a moment and reached up, he hand touching his face softly. She caressed his face for a moment then kissed him as he leaned forward to take his lips with hers. Resisting the urge to make a sound as he kissed along her jaw and down her neck, her body arched as he hit her weak spot. Her neck. He knew what it did to her and she felt the tremors travel up from the area that needed his attention so desperately and settle in her stomach. She ached for him now but she knew she needed to be patient. Normally she would be returning his administrations but for some reason, this time, she didn't. This was him now. He had all of her at his fingertips, literally and she was letting him take control. It aroused her far more than any other time they had been together. When his mouth returned to her breasts she couldn't keep it in any longer. She whimpered, gasping as his mouth did things to her. Her hands went to his body now, trailing from his sides to his back, tracing his muscles, his scars, his everything. His pants denied her the access that she wanted the most, but her hand lingered over the hard on that she could see, that she could feel. Unable to help herself any longer, her fingers fumbled over the button that was holding him in, and when she succeeded with getting it undone, she found that she was nearly undone. This was ridiculous. He was nearly making her orgasm by his simple touches. She couldn't stand it. She let her fingers fly to his zipper, undoing it quickly and then taking his pants, pushing them down over his hips with desperate breaths filling her chest. She couldn't get his pants all the way off but she got them far enough down. His boxers were the only thing between them now, for she was aware of him removing her underwear, his fingers going to touch her once more. As she exposed him, she was suddenly aware of his question. Now she couldn't even focus on his arousal because of what his fingers were doing to her. Her head flew back as he nearly made her orgasm with his touch. Her body arched around his fingers, a desperate cry leaving her lips as he teased her. "I need....I can't....Connor....please..." She couldn't even speak because of how badly she needed him. But she couldn't hold herself together any longer. As his fingers continued to stroke her, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she found her release, climaxing around his hand. A moan of satisfaction left her lips, and her eyes could only stare into his as he made her release. Her body relaxed against the bed now, the light layer of sweat working its way onto her already glistening skin. She couldn't believe that he had been able to do that to her. Slightly embarrassed by her apparent readiness, she sighed in relief over what he had done to her with his fingers but knew that she was far from satisfied. Her blue eyes, darkened from passion and lust turned to him, studied him. "I need you inside of me before I lose all of my control Connor." She whispered fervently to him, desperately. She was still desperate, still pleading with him. The gentle teasing that he was doing was driving her insane. She wiggled beneath him now, trying to move herself so that his hard on was hovering above her. Her hands traveled from his back now, moving softly, deftly to the front of him, feeling his chiseled abs as she slipped down lower. Her hands went to his inner thighs now, skipping over his arousal, but unable to stay away from it for very long. Taking him in her skilled fingers, she played with him, wanting him to find that release that he had given her, knowing that he needed it as desperately as she had. Stroking him softly, slowly, she knew how she could pleasure him. She moved her hands from his hard on for the moment, pushing him up gently with her hands. She kept pushing him until they had switched positions, watching him as he settled onto his back. Leaning forward now, her long blonde hair framed her face and a soft smile worked its way onto her features. She had never done this to him before but she wanted him to have his own release to. In another moment her lips surrounded him, taking him into her mouth and pleasuring him as skillfully as he had pleasured him. She took him to the brink, only to halt her ministrations, letting him build over and over again. Every time she brought him near to his orgasm, she dropped him, knowing how it was driving him mad. And yet she was still gentle, she was still soft, as she had never been before. And finally she allowed him his release, building him up and letting him climax. She removed her mouth before he could release inside of her in that fashion, but she softly, gently cleaned him, moving to lay back on the bed. And she found she was entirely wet all over again. "Connor.."

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[CONNOR GREGORY SELWYN]

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HE WAS TEASING HER WITH HIS TOUCH, AND HE ENJOYED IT. HE'D ALWAYS ENJOYED PLAYING WITH HER MIND, BUT THIS WAS ALSO PLAYING WITH HER BODY, AND IT AROUSED AND EXCITED HIM. GAMES HAD ALWAYS BEEN HIS FORTE, AND THIS WASN'T ANY DIFFERENT OTHER THAN THE SIMPLE FACT THAT THIS WASN'T A GAME OF BETRAYAL. THIS WAS A GAME OF LUST AND PASSION, THE RULES SET THAT THEY MUST REMAIN GENTLE AND LOVING WHILE ACHIEVING THAT RAVENOUS LEVEL OF WANT. HE TOYED WITH HER, RAN HIS FINGERS AND TONGUE WITHIN HER, UNTIL SHE CRIED OUT WITH RELEASE. HE COULDN'T DENY HE ENJOYED HEARING HER VOICE MOAN OUT HIS NAME OR THE FEEL OF HER BODY TIGHTENING AROUND HIS FINGERS.

SO WHEN SHE GENTLY URGED HIM TO SWITCH POSITIONS WITH HER, HE WILLINGLY DID SO. SHE HAD BEGGED HIM TO BE WITHIN HER, BUT SHE WANTED THIS NOW, SO HE WOULD HAVE TO WAIT. EVEN IF HE'D MANAGED TO BECOME A BETTER MAN, HE WAS STILL PAINFULLY IMPATIENT, AND WATCHING HER BEAUTIFUL BODY HOVERING OVER HIM WAS ALMOST TOO MUCH FOR HIM. BUT SHE PUSHED HIM TO THAT BRINK JUST TO FALL SHORT, AND IT DROVE HIM INSANE. SHE FINALLY ALLOWED HIM TO LET GO, AND HE ALMOST GROWLED WITH THE RELIEF OF IT. HIS EYES BURNED WITH AN ANIMALISTIC FIRE, THAT DESIRE TO LAY HER ON THE BED AND FUCK HER, BUT HE EXERTED HIS SELF-CONTROL. HER BODY WAS HIS NOW, JUST AS HIS WAS HERS. SO HE WOULD HAVE HER. AND HE KNEW SHE WANTED IT, SO HE WOULD DO IT. NOT SIMPLY BECAUSE HE WANTED IT, BUT BECAUSE HE KNEW IT WOULD PLEASE HER AS WELL.

SITTING UP WITH A SWIFT MOVEMENT, HE CAUGHT HER BY THE ARM AS SHE MOVED TO LAY BESIDE HIM, HIS EYES BURNING WITH DESIRE. HE CLICKED HIS TONGUE AND SMILED. "NOW THAT YOU'VE PLEASURED ME WITH YOUR MOUTH, HOW ABOUT YOU PLEASURE ME WITH YOUR PUSSY?" HE GROWLED, THE MUSCLES IN HIS BICEPS CLENCHING AS HE MAINTAINED CONTROL OVER THEM. HE WANTED TO SLAM HER AGAINST THE WALL, TAKE HER THE ROUGH WAY THEY'D ALWAYS KNOWN, BUT REALLY HE JUST WANTED HER. HE DIDN'T CARE HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT HER MOUTH WASN'T ENOUGH. HIS FINGERS WEREN'T ENOUGH. HE NEEDED THE REAL HER.

FOLLOWING HER DOWN AS SHE LAY ON THE BED, HE MOVED OVER HER, HIS MOUTH COLLAPSING ON HERS AND TASTING THE INTERMINGLED TASTES OF THEM BOTH. IT TURNED HIM ON MORE, IF THAT WAS EVEN POSSIBLE, AND HE EASILY LIFTED HIMSELF ON TOP OF HER, SLIDING INSIDE SO EASILY IT ALMOST MADE HIM LOSE IT RIGHT THEN. HIS EYES ROLLED BACK IN HIS HEAD AS THE TIGHT HEAT CLOSED AROUND HIM, AND HE GROANED NATURALLY. "DAMN, WOMAN... I CAN'T HANDLE YOU LIKE THIS..." HE COMMENTED, SMILING LUSTILY DOWN AT HER. SHE WANTED HIM SO BADLY, AND SHE'D NEVER OPENLY SHOWED SHE WANTED HIM BEFORE. HE DROVE HIM INSANE WITH WANT FOR HER. HE KISSED HER AGAIN, MORE FERVENTLY THAN BEFORE, AND SLID IN AND OUT UNTIL HE WAS ON THE VERGE OF CLIMAX ONCE AGAIN.

IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE HIS OWN SELF-CONTROL WASN'T ENOUGH TO HOLD HIM BACK, AND HE FILLED HER BEFORE HE COULD EXERT THE WILL TO REMOVE HIMSELF. SHIVERING FROM THE EXERTION AND PASSION, HE ROLLED OFF OF HER, BREATHING HEAVY BREATHS AND CHUCKLING TO HIMSELF. "I LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW THAT?" HE ROLLED ONTO HIS SIDE AND SMILED AT HER, KISSING HER SOFTLY ON HER LIPS.

CRAPPY LAYOUT BY ME.