dancing away with my heart , ridley

[neil patrick torres]

"good work, men. couldn't be more proud!" neil called from the front of the kitchen. there were a few grunts of response and a quick clap of hands before neil pushed his way through the double doors and into the empty shop. the rush hour had just ended, and already he was getting used to the craziness of demanding coffee lovers. most people didn't know that the basement was reserved for the irish enemies of the town and the upstairs was his small apartment, often empty. connor had made comments in the past, ones that stung, about how neil never used the women in the group. neil refused to comment, instead allowing his mind to wander to the days where him and that girl would be tangled in bed, their breaths combining into one and their legs intertwined with the sheets and each other. her hair would be spread out on the pillow and her dimples would show whenever he said something that surprised her. but those were only memories, and connor knew exactly how much pain was cause whenever that girl was brought up. neil hadn't talked to her in years, anger from the knowledge that he had been betrayed and nervousness that she was happier without him. if she was happier without him, he would have no reason to live. all the girls that had been after her, the one girlfriend and the two one night stands, had meant nothing. she had been his everything and there was no way he couple replace her.

but he shook those thoughts from his mind, refusing to acknowledge her presence. no, she was nothing. the anger bubbled up from his stomach and he slammed his fist down at the table. he was nothing to her. moments later, an individual came up the stairs from the meeting room and nodded to neil, throwing him a couple bucks for the coffee he had bought. neil nodded in response before depositing the money into the tip jar, preferring that the money was given to the naive college students that worked for the money. in reality, he didn't need money; connor was more then willing to give him money (not that he accepted it), his talents came in useful and annie often sent him money for keeping his sister here in the united states. he enjoyed having his only sibling with him at all times, even though she didn't always live with him in the small apartment. but the money at this point was to pay him back for taking her place. he hadn't wanted this life; he had wanted a life where he could be happy.

turning and making a fresh pot of coffee, he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. his eyes glanced to the clock only to be reminded that he had another four hours before he could close the shop down. connor wouldn't be happy if the shop closed down earlier then scheduled and that would only create more havoc for him. he and connor barely got along as it was, but neil was good at what he did and that was the only reason he was kept around. there was no other use for him. movement from the register grabbed his attention and he turned, only to feel his mouth drop a little bit. there she was, there was that beautiful girl that he was still hopelessly in love with, standing in front of him. "'ello ridley" he said, his voice soft and slightly cautious. "how are you?"

[RIDLEY JAMES POLLOCK]

[style=padding-top: 150px; margin-left: -100px;][style=width: 280px; padding: 10px; background-color: 222222; opacity: 0.8; font-family: arial narrow; color: eeeeee; font-size: 12px; text-transform: uppercase; border-radius: 0px 20px 20px 0px; font-style: italic;]it's time to begin isn't it?

[/style][/style]

[/style][style=background-color: #ffffff; width: 400px;]
[style=width: 240px; height: 300px; overflow: auto; font-family: tahoma; letter-spacing: 1px; color: #222222; text-align: justify; line-height: 90%; font-size: 9px; padding-left; 5px; padding-right: 5px;]rubbing the heels of her hands deeply into her eyes, ridley sighed and forced herself to stay awake. she'd just finished a fourteen hour plane ride across the atlantic ocean, and her head was slowly beginning to ache from the headache she always got thanks to lack of sleep. pulling her dark brown hair up in a messy bun, she speared it with a pencil without caring if it looked stylish or not. unbuttoning her stewardess jacket, she tossed it on the floor, too exhausted to worry about putting it away. she had the weekend off and she intended to little to nothing in the meantime. that included hanging up her clothes.

pulling a dark blue sweater on over her head, she decided the headache had to go. the only way to solve that problem was a nice hot cup of coffee. much to her chagrin, her apartment was woefully unstocked in terms of groceries thanks to the fact that she'd been out of town on work for the past two weeks. she was certainly too tired to worry about grocery shopping right now, so she grabbed her wallet and decided to walk down to the new coffee shop which had opened up across the street from her apartment building.

as she exited the building, the cold wintry air hit her legs and she shivered within her sweater. she wore a comfortable blue sweater over skin-tight leggings, and outfit that had been wonderfully comfy and warm in her apartment but which served to make her chilly against the winter air. hurrying across the street, she managed to knock the makeshift bun out of her hair as she rushed for the coffee shop door, and she caught the pencil as it fell out of her brown hair. the tresses tumbled around her shoulders, and she ran her fingers into it, shaking it out and not bothering to put it back up. she was warmer with it down anyway, even if it was only just past her shoulders.

glancing up at the menu, she was busy deciding what she wanted to order so she was blissfully unaware of the very familiar face who noticed her. absently, her fingers played with the tips of her dark hair, curling it around her fingertips as she struggled to decide between espresso or cappuccino. just as she stepped up to the register, her brown eyes lowered as she decided on her choice of beverage, and her heart leapt into her throat, suffocating and muting her as she came face-to-face with neil.

she had believed she was over him. she'd believed she'd successfully forgotten him through moving back to scotland and marrying frank.

oh, how she hadn't.

his blond hair and light eyes instantly made her knees go weak, and her stomach churned violently at the sight of him. somehow, the years they'd been apart only made him more desirable, and her tongue swelled up in her throat. but her anger was still there. he had cheated on her. he'd slept with connor's sister. of course blonds would be his type. all guys liked blonds. ridley had been born a brunette, and she liked it that way, but apparently that wasn't good enough for him. apparently giving her virginity and all of her soul to him hadn't been enough.

that anger rose up from the pit of her stomach and her eyes steeled over as she looked at him. "neil," she stated flatly, hearing him question her state-of-being. "i'm suddenly no longer thirsty," she retorted coldly, dropping her arms and turning away from the counter as the next person in line stared confusedly after her.

she was thankful that anger boiled up within her, or she knew she would cry. two years should be enough to heal her from what had happened, but it wasn't. he was so unlike frank who had been shorter than her with his black hair and boyish face. neil was taller, blond, muscular, everything her deceased husband was not. she'd never loved frank romantically the way she'd loved neil, she knew this. she was ashamed of it because she believed he had honestly cared about her, but it was a marriage designed to make her forget about neil, and she knew it. perhaps frank had known it too, she didn't know. she had truly cared about him, but she hadn't loved him as much more than a friend. she felt selfish admitting that he was her way of attempting to forget about neil, but she had to admit the truth. now, she exited with a version of survivor's guilt because she had never truly, in her heart, been faithful to the man she'd agreed to marry. her heart was such a fucked up place, she didn't know how to interpret it anymore.

[/style]

[/style][style=width: 350px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 8px;] 792 , tagged neil , notes hope it's okay! , thanks lauz

[neil patrick torres]

Her chocolate locks seemed longer then he had last remembered, drifting past her shoulders and framing her face in a delicious way. He wanted to hold her cheeks, press their lips together and feel the passion that had once been between the two. That passion hadn’t left his soul since the moment they were torn apart, but that did not fix the damage that had happened. She had betrayed him, and he was never the same. Her father had been confused when Neil told him quietly that he was going to California, and that he appreciated everything he did. Edward hadn’t finished teaching him but the rest of the knowledge could be taught through internet research and simply mistakes when practicing. Neil had a talent, and Edward had simply brought it to the attention of the mafia. Ridley had been the only one that wanted to know the true him, who had wanted to be with the man that hid himself behind his work. But she had betrayed him, just like everyone else in his life had once before. Apparently, the only person he could truly trust was his younger sister, and that was only because they only had each other. His stepmother and father hadn’t helped with his issues in the mafia, and they would most certainly be no help now. No, for all intent purposes, Neil was alone in the world.

His thoughts had been roaming around his head that he almost missed her whispering his name. It seemed so delicate coming out of her mouth, almost like a flower that was finally being allowed to bloom. Oh, how he had missed hearing his name from her lips. He was a hopeless romantic, and it seemed that even his thoughts had turned into romantic garbage. But questions roamed around his mind, wondering why Ridley was in Boston of all places. His mind, assuming the worst, wondered if Connor had been behind everything. After all, Connor had been the one to tell him that Ridley cheated and it seemed something Connor would do to cause him great pain, to bring the only girl he had ever loved back. The mafia leader was a cruel one and never allowed him a moment of comfort before bringing something big and confusing into his life. After everything, from running a coffee shop to recreating priceless paintings, Connor was never happy with him. It was almost a blessing in disguise that Ridley had left; at least then she couldn’t be harmed because of him. Neil would die if he ever became the reason as to why Ridley got hurt. If she got hurt, then he would be hurt all the same.

She had been the only woman he had ever wanted to marry.

The ring, in fact, was in his apartment buried under memories of the two of them that he had brought across the world. Some things were just too precious to return or forget, and Ridley Pollock was one of those.

Rumors had swirled that she had married after he left for California, and that the poor bloke had died. He really did not know, but he hoped that she was happy with whatever life had created for her. Out of everyone he knew, she deserved the most to be happy. He would give her his happiness, all the happiness he had ever felt, if it meant that she could be happy forever. And yet, he told to all those who asked that he were over her. Those were all lies.

But just as quickly as she had appeared, she left, leaving a trail of sweet perfume in her wake. “Miles, take over the register,” Neil called out quickly before grabbing his coat and escaping out the front door, refusing for her to leave. No, not when she was close enough to touch, not when he knew that she wasn’t just a dream he had created with his mind. She was something real, something that he had missed for the last two or more years.

His legs moved fast, taking long strides to catch up with her. He caught up with her, his breath coming out in balls of steam. “Please. Come and have something to drink. I’ve missed you. It’s been a while,”

[/b] he said, the words coming out fast like a train wreck. No, Ridley was not allowed to leave until Neil could talk to her. He almost wanted to bring up the past, but he stopped himself, the gentleman in him taking over. That would be rude and most likely bring up unwanted feelings. Maybe even her alleged dead husband had been the one she slept with, the one she had done the deed with that had broken his heart. His heart had shattered like glass, but he would not admit that. If he could deal with Connor every god damn day of his life, then he could deal with the sharp pain of sorrow that seemed to stab through his heart. Ridley was his weakness and he wanted her like a camel wanted water, like milk wanted an oreo…like a lover discovering love.

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify]

[RIDLEY JAMES POLLOCK]

[style=padding-top: 150px; margin-left: -100px;][style=width: 280px; padding: 10px; background-color: 222222; opacity: 0.8; font-family: arial narrow; color: eeeeee; font-size: 12px; text-transform: uppercase; border-radius: 0px 20px 20px 0px; font-style: italic;]it's time to begin isn't it?

[/style][/style]

[/style][style=background-color: #ffffff; width: 400px;]
[style=width: 240px; height: 300px; overflow: auto; font-family: tahoma; letter-spacing: 1px; color: #222222; text-align: justify; line-height: 90%; font-size: 9px; padding-left; 5px; padding-right: 5px;]ridley walked swiftly in an attempt to put all of her past behind her. unfortunately, her past had become such an integral part of who she was now, she couldn't forget it. she couldn't walk away from it altogether. if she did, she walked away from part of her personality and her character, and unfortunately, she couldn't. she wanted to, but it would be like walking away from her lungs or her brain or her heart; it was physically impossible.

she threw open the door to the coffee shop, regretting ever deciding she wanted caffeine in the first place. now, her head hurt worse than it had before.

she hadn't seen neil in at least two years. she'd been infuriated with him for cheating on her. she'd hated him and she knew she still did. her feelings from before were still there - she doubted that would ever go away because once you love someone can you ever really be rid of them? - but she couldn't forgive him for the betrayal. she might not be fiery like the irish, but she was scottish and that gave her her own flaming personality.

reaching the opposite side of the street, she suddenly heard rushed steps behind her and knew it was him. why he bothered to follow her, she couldn't know. hearing his words made her stop short and pause with her back to him, her shoulders rising and falling dramatically as she struggled to control her angry breathing in reaction to his words.

"you... missed me?" she asked, her voice tight, barely concealing her irritation. mental images of him and kahlan (images she had formulated for herself after connor selwyn told her about neil's tryst with the female selwyn) flitted through her mind, stirring up her anger even more. "you missed me." this time it was stated flatly, sardonically even, and she turned to face him, her brown eyes blazing.

she thought of frank as her eyes met neil's. frank was so unlike neil, his antithesis. neil was taller than her - as few men were thanks to her height - whereas frank had been a smaller man, barely tall enough to join the military service. frank had brown hair and freckles and no facial hair, but neil was blond with smooth skin and the perfect shadow of hair across his chin and face. she hated him for being so handsome, still, after all these years. his hair was longer, brushed to the side instead of cropped close to his skull as it had been when they were younger, but somehow it only served to make him more desirable.

ridley hated him for it.

"how could you have missed me, neil?" she asked harshly, her voice breaking as her rage got the best of her. "you were the one who left. you left me to connor selwyn and his dogs and ran off to california after doing God-only-knows what. i moved on. so did you. stop trying to dwell in the past."

turning on her heel, she stalked away from him, her dark brown hair swirling around her face in the shifting winter air. she had to get away from him or she was afraid she might hit him, or worse.

[/style]

[/style][style=width: 350px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 8px;] 792 , tagged neil , notes hope it's okay! , thanks lauz

[neil patrick torres]

While a part of him wanted to see her go, wanted to never see her again, another part of him couldn’t. She was the one girl that he had never been able to get over, and Neil needed closure. His sister had been telling him that for years, and she was only nineteen. She knew how to control the heart better than he did, and that either shower she was cynical about love or he was a pathetic hopeless romantic. No, he didn’t expect her to jump into his arms and declare her undying love for him, but he did expect Ridley to let him talk to her. That seemed utterly impossible at this point.

With his workers watching him flee the café, he knew they would ask questions and mention things to Connor. No one in the coffee shop, or the damn world, was loyal to him anymore. Everyone knew everything, and it was only a matter of time before Connor heard that Ridley was her. Connor had never enjoyed Ridley and Neil’s relationship, and Neil knew that he had had some twisted way as to why it ended. It was only ideas, and those dangerous ideas were not meant to be shared aloud.
His once happy life had entered through his coffee shop, and he was not going to let the happiness that had once engulfed him leave again. He wouldn’t let that happen without a simple conversation.

Her words were flat, filled with irritation and other emotions that he hadn’t know she possessed. She looked angry at the thought that he was being honest with her. Neil had never lied to her, never once believed that he couldn’t trust her. But those words made him think about what he could have possibly done to her. Ridley had been the one to cheat on him, to find another lover that was more suited for her, and left him out in the dust. It wasn’t fair that he was being blamed, in some indirect way, for something he had never done. Anger began to boil at the surface, and Neil was trying so hard to control it.

”Of course I missed you, Rid.” He said, his words short. If she wanted to be obnoxious and rude to him, then he could do the same thing. The past could not be the end of what they had, even if they had a twisted friendship or something like that. She had been his everything, knew everything about him, and he couldn’t put the past behind him. They had something special that managed to get ruined because he wasn’t enough for her. Neil would never be enough for her, and that was something he needed to learn to accept.

As he looked at her, he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she still was, how age had granted her a different beauty that he adored. Her hair was still silky, but longer than he remembered. Neil loved her height, how Ridley was tall enough to challenge him. But he couldn’t help but wonder how many men had touched her like he had once touched her, and attempted to love her like he loved her.
He had always loved her the most.

Ridley tried running, but Neil was fast. His voice was low, as though he was trying not to grab attention from the unwanted people around them. He could keep her pace as long as she wanted to run from him.

”I ran? That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. I was going to bring you to California. I had even gotten you an engagement ring! You were the one that left, Ridley. Connor said you left because you fell in love with someone else. You broke my heart, and you’re making this my fault? How about you at least own up to it.”