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Post by ALONZO MARTINUS MANCINI on Feb 2, 2013 13:06:36 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,width: 350px; padding: 10px; background-image: url(http://i.imgur.com/w6MZf.png);] We got winners - we got losers - Chain smokers and boozers He couldn’t handle the thought of having to deal with one more screaming child in the offices. He loved kids, truly, but they made his patience run thin and that was something he once believed that he had more than enough of. Now he was second guessing his choice to work in this office, in particular, but he didn’t want the pediatricians to frown at him for looking for a transfer only a year after working in this office. Truth be told, Al came to the conclusion that he didn’t want kids and his job intensified the feeling. Yet Grace, working as a neonatal nurse, that’s all she wanted to talk about lately was babies, babies, babies, and babies. She had baby fever and he had to practically super glue the condoms on or she was ripping it off trying to get pregnant the few times they were able to have sex. It was an awful turn off for him, it resulted in fights, and she would always cry. She’d always ask him why not and why wouldn’t an Italian man from a big Italian family want kids. Was it her? No, it was just being responsible for a little life that depended on you more than anything. He would either love his child too much or he wouldn’t love it at all. He saw too many single mothers come in with their babies and he handled them daily. He just didn’t want to start a family as bad as Grace did. He would propose, he would marry her, but he didn’t want children this early. Children were meant for people over twenty five but younger than forty – they weren’t right for children or adults in their early twenties. Couldn’t grace just realize their lives were perfect as it was?
Despite it was their weekend to be together, Al started creating a way to have just a guy’s night with Zac. The girls, Grace and Andy, were going out to do God knows what. While him and his best friend was hitting up this sports bar for drinks and to watch the super bowl. It was packed and it was crazy, but Al wanted this experience to just get away from family life. Grace wanted kids and they worked with kids, but in a sports bar it was like kids didn’t exist. In fact, it was just a bunch of men get hot and bothered over fumbles and interceptions. That was the entire point of coming here and just for that matter, when he suggested it to Grace she cringed, declined, and suggested she and Andy do something together. It was as if Al should have been some sort of evil mastermind or followed in his older sister’s footsteps. He knew Grace wouldn’t have come here even if he had begged her and that was why he chose it. She didn’t want Zac and Andy in their apartment anymore, but all four of the occupants paid something to live there. Sure, with how much money Grace made they could afford to live on their own, but it was Alonzo who didn’t want to live without Zac close by. It was a little childish but mostly it was because the two men were attached at the hip. They spent their entire adult lives thus far living together; it wasn’t easy to walk away from that sort of bond. At one time in his life Grace accused him of loving Zac more than her. Such an idea was preposterous to Alonzo, he even told her that with a tongue lashing.
Sitting down at a table with two high stool chairs, they had a view of the tv. Alonzo was dressed casual, jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt, a pair of Osiris’ on his feet, he tried a hat but it didn’t work so he compensated with a leather jacket – zip-up, not buttoned. He was there first, it was his trademark, but he also just left grace’s company and what a pleasure she was. Heavily laced with sarcasm, grocery shopping became a territorial struggle with other women giving him the look over. He was that LFMAO song, “Sexy and I know It.” But with being sexy, it didn’t exclude him from pushing the cart behind Grace as she moved through the aisles. They did all the grocery shopping, that was their thing back in college and it was hard for them to do it but once a month. Alonzo called it “the weekend of sex, shopping, and food,” because that’s what it turned out to be when they couldn’t do these things together. He couldn’t tell anyone if Grace was the love of his life or not. Some people said that you would know, that’s what his older brothers and his parents said. He thought they were full of it, because on paper, in writing, Grace was it – she was perfect, but Alonzo didn’t feel it. They were just two pairs of shoes worn together that worked. No one wanted to just work; they wanted it to be perfect. Sighing, he looked into his beer but then glanced upwards to see his friend. With a sigh as Zac sat, he rolled his shoulders.
”Grace is at it, again. We’re fucking twenty-two, man, why the hell does she have baby fever so god damn bad. Shouldn’t watching innocent little babies die and not make it into life deter her from rushing it? It’s that damn, Teen Mom show or 16 and pregnant. Those shows convince women to want to do nothing but breed like weeds. I mean, what the hell happened to Italy, France, Zimbabwe? It’s like, she doesn’t care if we don’t travel anymore or party when we can, be completely irresponsible adults while we have the chance. It’s straight to, get our own place, get married, have kids. Zac, I’m not shitting you here, I think I either put a ring on it or walk away. The more times she screams baby, the more I think walk the fuck away man…. I swear, she’s putting tears in condoms just to have a surprise pregnancy – she’s fucking lost it. I mean she was cooing over shoes today!”
words: 1033 - tags: zac - notes: alonzo just wants man time |
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Post by ZACHARY MASON TURNER on Feb 2, 2013 16:15:12 GMT -5
[style= font-family: wire one; color: 000000; line-height: 22px; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 70px;]I STILL SINK INTO QUICKSAND It's so easy when you're fake believing Untruly speaking, wrecking feelings It's so easy sparking opposite ends Fighting the good within, hiding my reasons Stranger I know so well You got me tripping over myself Can't trust in you 'Cause as I reach for your hand I still sink into quicksand Isn't my good side worth rescuing? It's not easy admitting your demons Tangled up in seasons Finding lame reasons I can't fall asleep but I sure can dream Stranger I know so well You got me tripping over myself Can't trust in you 'Cause as I reach for your hand I still sink into quicksand Isn't my good side worth rescuing? I always flip myself into a shape I can't make Thinking so hard about who we really are You spark the good within But I was never good at listening Listen until you're gone [/style][style= width: 400px; height: 8px; background-color: 72667d;] Zac felt extremely lucky to have Andy. She was amazing. All he had to do was ask her to entertain Grace for a few hours and she was game. Of course, Andy would have loved to come and watch the super bowl with Al and him, but brotherly time calls. Zac gave her a somewhat apologetic, puppy-like smile as she shook her hand through his hair and assured him it was okay. He knew that Andy hated all that girl stuff, but she was heaven sent and would do it for him. They exchanged awkward “I love you”’s and shared a quick kiss before Zac walked out the door. The air blew against him and he pulled his jacket around him tighter by the zipper-area. God he hated winter … but he hated summer too, so he decided he would try not to complain.
He’d known Andy every since he was a kid, so they almost always get along. Their relationship seemed to be far from similar to Alonzo and Grace’s relationship. He felt like they loved each other they were supposed to, while he and Andy loved each other as if they were still just best friends. They don’t have sex much, any sort of lovey-dovey interaction feels extremely awkward to both of them, and they are completely content just sitting around playing video games or just talking and laughing. He felt somewhat uncomfortable around Grace since he knew that she didn’t want he and Andy around the house anymore. However, this house was his just as much as it was her’s, so … yeah. Zac and Alonzo had been friends for years by now, and neither of them were necessarily ready to separate from each other. Just the very idea made Zac frown on his way to the sports bar.
He slipped into the bar after a long, bitter walk. The heat of the room sunk through his pores and wrapped a blanket of warmth tightly around him. His chocolate brown eyes settled on his best friend and a rush of excitement ran through his body. He gave his friend a pat on the shoulder as he walked by him to sit down. He had a somewhat goofy smile on his face that faltered a little bit when he started to rant. The falter only lasted a split second, because he couldn’t help but laughing at the topic of conversation, ”Let it all out,” Zac encouraged his friend in a joking tone.
He ordered a beer for himself after noticing that Al already had one, still listening intently to what his friend was saying while doing so. He arched a brow just barely when Al brought up teen mom. ”The TV does tend to manipulate,” he added onto his accusation, smiling while doing so. He felt at home with Alonzo. There was no need to put on any sort of act. He felt like there was this overbearing pressure to look like a perfect boyfriend and be a perfect boyfriend. He felt awful that he didn’t necessarily feel the way toward Andy as he was supposed to … but it was a relief that Andy felt the same way. Neither had to say it, they just knew. In public they’ll hold hands, give small kisses, they’ll fuck every now and then but it always felt awkward and weird. He didn’t have to put on some sort of boyfriend act in public when he was with Alonzo. That made him feel comfortable.
Puppy-like eyes drifted toward the television after the majority of the bar made sounds of disappointment. He didn’t have a preference on who won the game seeing as neither teams were even close to his hometown in Washington.
Part of him had been somewhat relieved that they may not go on all of those trips they had planned. He felt like an important piece of him was missing whenever Alonzo wasn’t around. Is that weird? He shrugged off the thought and continued to listen, nodding as he agreed to the points he was making. Zac felt pretty similar to babies, and he was lucky Andy doesn’t want kids either. All Zac really wanted was a damn puppy. He loves animals – he was supposed to be a veterinarian, so he figured that getting a puppy along with being a nurse will make up for that lost dream.
Zac’s jaw dropped in utter disbelief at the condom statement. ”Dude, she’s seriously losing it,” his brown eyes were wide, his eyebrows had shot up, and he suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable as if it were happening to himself. ”That just isn’t okay, you know? Like sure … dream about having millions of babies, but that’s fucked up. You don’t trick someone into have a kid,” he looked as the beer he had ordered was placed in front of him. He was too in shock to even thank the waiter. His heart seemed to sink to his stomach as he mentioned even the thought of marriage. He felt like something was being torn away from him, and this made him miserable. He swallowed dryly before lifting his beer to his lips. The bubbled beverage made its way down his throat, and he was surprised that he never even realized how thirsty he was. Or maybe this news made him thirsty, because he was suddenly feeling like his skin was on fire.
Why was he feeling so possessive over his best friend? He knew that eventually this whole move out, get married, have kids thing was going to happen, but he never imagined it being so utterly … heartbreaking, for a lack of a better word. He scratched the back of his head habitually when his nerves seemed to get the best of him. ”I think this is calling for more than just a few beers,” he tried to lighten the mood and laugh a little bit, ”more like a shit ton of shots. That’ll probably do.” He paused for a moment before dreadfully drifting back to their original conversation, ”Does she realize that we’re all only twenty two? Aren’t kids supposed to come when you’re like … thirty something?” Women naturally seemed to have a faster timeline than men. Andy really had to be heaven sent for not even bringing the topics of marriage and babies. He took another long gulp of his beer. God. ”When did everything get so fucking stressful?”
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Post by ALONZO MARTINUS MANCINI on Feb 2, 2013 19:01:44 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,width: 350px; padding: 10px; background-image: url(http://i.imgur.com/w6MZf.png);] We got winners - we got losers - Chain smokers and boozers Alonzo could remember freshman orientation vividly, the very first day he arrived marked one of the most nervous days of his life. He was anxious to meet his roommate, he heard stories and he spent each night silently praying and wishing that the fates didn’t have that aligned for him. He couldn’t bare the thought of spending all his time in his room with someone that hated him or got off on the pleasure of making his life a living hell. It sure didn’t add to going away from home he felt that he was all too eagerly being shoved out of. While Italians were all about their family, loving, caring and the entire lot – they were suffocating and too eager to be supportive and accepting. He felt as if he was being shoved out of the nest too soon and he hated the feeling. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, he just had an idea, but it wasn’t a solid idea and he couldn’t spend a semester wasting his time as undecided taking classes that would amount to nothing. He chose nursing because the job demand was there, not for any other reason initially.
When he met Zac, he didn’t know how to describe the moment, but it was akin to falling in love at first sight. He saw this kid the same age as he, almost the same height, but he looked completely harmless. If Al had to pin Zac to an animal, he was truly and utterly a puppy. Their parents met and talked about their respective son while the guys awkwardly stood by. Here was Alonzo so confident in who he was, a real go-getter and achiever. If he wanted something, he pursued it and made it his. He stood next to this kid, he looked like one of those kids that were smart, but funny as hell. That was how they meandered through life and while Alonzo felt different from that, he knew that in some aspect they were the same. He was nervous as well and if he wasn’t Alonzo wanted whatever it was he was smoking. This could have been bad, but they were lucky to have found each other. Al knew in that moment he was safe with Zac, Zac was safe with him and that’s all they could really ask for besides “Dining common lunch together?”
”Oh I know, I know. She’s lost it, but as far as she’s concerned this is in a good way. It’s twisted – I’m hiding my condoms in my pillow cases and then leaving some out in the open. She thinks I grab from her tampered box, but I have my stash.” He took a long pull from the bottle of beer and set it down, watching the game with half interest. It was a lie, an excuse to be here. ”I swear to jesus Christ himself I will kill you if you tip her off and if she does get pregnant, consider yourself my go to babysitter for life.” Alonzo socked Zac in the arm playfully in a harmless way. He didn’t know who he could talk to about Grace’s crazy antics besides the other male. That’s what best friends were for, wasn’t it? Zac wasn’t leaving the house or going anywhere no was he and Grace moving out anytime soon. He wasn’t ready for that step in their life and if Zac thought it was crazy too, than he knew it wasn’t just Al feeling caged after spending hours as Grace’s bag bitch. He loathed that job exponentially so.
”No, yeah, man let’s do fucking a crazy amount of shots. Let’s drink until I’m single.” He stated and then laughed. ”I’m just fucking kidding, stuck with the crazy bitch for the rest of my life. I mean, I even picked out the ring and well, it’ll look good or some shit. I’ve been thinking that will slow her down. Take her across the Atlantic, propose in front of the Eiffel tower…. Pricy as fuck, but it should stop this kid shit for a bit.” He trailed off as he thought about it. He was slowly caving into whatever Grace wanted. That was the effects a woman had on a man he was told, but he didn’t want to admit it. He was still on the fence about where they stood, but he could clearly see where the path was taking him – marriage and kids. ”You’ll be my best man, yeah?” He sighed and rubbed his face, looking down at near empty bottle.
”When did that crazy hot chick from college turn into a woman obsessed with marriage and children? When did you have to worry about if you were ready to be a parent? God where the fuck did the time go.”
words: 800 - tags: zac - notes: alonzo just wants man time |
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Post by ZACHARY MASON TURNER on Feb 7, 2013 10:03:51 GMT -5
[style= font-family: wire one; color: 000000; line-height: 22px; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 70px;]I STILL SINK INTO QUICKSAND It's so easy when you're fake believing Untruly speaking, wrecking feelings It's so easy sparking opposite ends Fighting the good within, hiding my reasons Stranger I know so well You got me tripping over myself Can't trust in you 'Cause as I reach for your hand I still sink into quicksand Isn't my good side worth rescuing? It's not easy admitting your demons Tangled up in seasons Finding lame reasons I can't fall asleep but I sure can dream Stranger I know so well You got me tripping over myself Can't trust in you 'Cause as I reach for your hand I still sink into quicksand Isn't my good side worth rescuing? I always flip myself into a shape I can't make Thinking so hard about who we really are You spark the good within But I was never good at listening Listen until you're gone [/style][style= width: 400px; height: 8px; background-color: 72667d;] Zac took another long sip of his beer. His mind was racing, and his heart felt as if holes were slowly beginning to form as if his good mood was slowly deteriorating because of the topic of conversation. He never truly imagined that there would a day that Al would leave. He felt weird feeling such an intense attachment toward his best friend, but he truly couldn’t numb the feeling or ease his thoughts. The two had been practically inseparable ever since their freshman year, how could Al even be considering leaving? Part of him was getting angry, but Zac was never one to have a temperament. He much more preferred to put a smile on his face and refuse to face his problems. Yet, not this is staring his straight in his face through the eyes and words of his very best friend. He internally winced and took yet another drink of his beer, finally finishing the glass and asking for another without using any words as he pointed to the empty glass once he gained eye contact with their waiter.
”I mean, dude, isn’t there a line you have to draw? You’re hiding condoms as if they’re drugs,” his soft brown eyes looked at his best friend with a hidden plea in his gaze, though he added a small laugh to his words and a lopsided smile to counteract his internal turmoil. He didn’t want this to happen just as much as Grace didn’t want to share a house with Andy and him. ”I’m sure you’ve already said something to her, cause I mean you guys seem to fight a lot more … but still. She clearly hasn’t gotten the point,” he knew his friend already knew all of this, but he said it anyways just to prove his point. If anything, Al should find a girl more like Andy … but maybe actually have more of a real relationship than Zac and Andy have. The boy chewed lightly on his lower lip, his gaze finally lifting from Al and replaced itself on the television again.
When the waiter came over with his second glass of beer, he asked, ”Can we actually get two shots of Smirnoff?” ”Sure, what flavor?” ”Just the original, thanks,” the waiter nodded and disappeared once again. ”It’ll be just like old times,” he laughed, alluring to the fact that he ordered an extremely college leveled vodka. Subconsciously, maybe he was trying to bring Al back to the old times to subtly convince him that this girl was not worth it. They had too many good times together, why would he ever want to move out? He still had the feeling in his gut that he was being abandoned by a significant other – was this really what heart break felt like? He laughed at himself, although it had appeared as if he was just laughing at what his best friend was saying. ”Hah, you wish,” he commented on him being his baby sitter. At least they would still be seeing each other a lot, he thought to himself.
A hopeful feeling fluttered in his gut like a bunch of butterflies when his friend joked about drinking to he was single, but then dropped just as fast and even lower than it ever had before he was commented on him being stuck with her forever. It almost surprised him how much those words hurt him – it was as if he was just told he was being cheated on, and they were never getting back together. He raised a brow, a smile still on his lips that never seemed to falter, ”You already found a ring? Seems to me that you already have a foot out of the door, man. Would you really want to do that?”
Please say no, he thought to himself. Please, say no.
”You and I both know that she won’t stop. Women are crazy,” he shrugged, ”once they get an idea stuck in their head, it’s there forever.” He sighed and practically chugged his second beer in order to distract himself from his torturous thoughts. He almost choked when Al asked if he would be his best man, was he serious? He put his beer back on the table and raked his hands through his hair nervously. ”Sure, man, of course,” his words were basically emotionless, but he was being honest. If he really was going to follow through with this plan, then yes, he would definitely be by his side no matter how much it hurt him.
Zac smiled at the waiter as he placed the two shots in front of them. He lifted his shot toward his best friend as a somewhat silent “cheers” before shooting it down his throat. The burn brought him back to college, and nostalgia rushed through him. ”You shouldn’t be worrying about parenthood, man,” he looked at his friend seriously, ”It’s too early, we’re too young.”
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Post by ALONZO MARTINUS MANCINI on Feb 10, 2013 14:32:01 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,width: 350px; padding: 10px; background-image: url(http://i.imgur.com/w6MZf.png);] We got winners - we got losers - Chain smokers and boozers Alonzo used to believe that he could tell when his friend was upset or bothered by something without acknowledging it with words or Zac vocalizing it to him. However, if that were the case than he would have picked up on Zac’s discomfort with their conversation when it first started instead of continuing through each painstaking detail. Perhaps Al did pick up on it, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it due to what it could stir between them. Al preferred their relationship as it were, he didn’t want to ruin the bond or strain it more than it was. He was blissfully ignorant, swatting away anything that would cause trouble. Even if it was something as heavy as this, it was too heavy for Al to handle in a bar let alone at home. If Zac felt he was being abandoned there wasn’t much that Al could do for him because Al couldn’t change the direction their lives were heading in. they both had serious girlfriends, but he sometimes felt that he and Grace were more into each other. It was as if Andy and Zac just set together because that’s what was expected of them. Al first met Andy not as Zac’s girlfriend, but as Zac’s friend and so when they started dating it felt weird even to Alonzo, but he kept mum – he wasn’t going to ruin his friend’s happiness over his own insecurities. When they started dating Al knew they weren’t going anywhere, he knew Zac would stay with him. By all accounts, he was right.
“I guess there is a line I could draw, but I think that it’s just better to keep the system I’ve started.” He noted as Zac continued with noting that Alonzo had to of said something to Grace. Of course he said something, but it just hurt Grace to think about not having kids. Alonzo was at a point where he didn’t want them and Grace wanted them. Grace wanted forever after: she wanted an engagement ring, but she never said how long the engagement would last. If they were engaged for a long period of time, Al would be fine with it. Dating or engaged, Al decided the feeling would be the same. He’d have to go ask her father and he thought of that as a turn off. Asking for permission was a waste of time, but it was the right thing to do. Then he would go about proposing – taking her on a trip and asking her in a foreign country, one of the most romantic. It took effort to impress his girlfriend, but it took even more effort to sway her from what she wanted and even his best friend knew this. “Yeah, I said something to her. I had to, for a while there it was getting ridiculous. She gets the point, she just doesn’t want to get the point. She wants forever, now and she doesn’t want to wait.” Silence fell between the two and both of their eyes drifted to the screen. That’s where Al felt it. He felt tension between the two that he never felt before. He felt a lump in his throat and he swallowed – he ignored it.
Glancing at Zac, he laughed at him. Ordering the shots of Smirnoff was something Al always did. He was the enabler, it had never been Zac. So why had it changed tonight? He didn’t know nor did he want to think about it. He told himself he didn’t feel anything – that Zac was his normal self. He used to be able to tell when Zac was upset and that hadn’t changed, but Al didn’t want to address it, he didn’t want to know in case it was something that he would regret knowing. He didn’t want to have to choose between his best friend and his girlfriend. He used to think he would never have to and now he was beginning to think that he would. The part that made his head ache was who he would choose. Some people knew the answer right away. Al? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to think about it. Turning to Zac, he watched the other without speaking. “Yeah, just like old times….” Before everything changed because they had to grow up, they couldn’t be college boys, they were men. Men went out to the bar once a week and they “shoot the shit” over their lives. That was where this was coming to, that was where this friendship would end.
“Yeah, I found the ring… I’m having it sized…. I’m going to pop the question, I think…. It should slow her down on wanting kids, give me time to get used to the idea of bringing a baby Al into creation. At least, with my good looks, it will be absolutely adorable. So yeah, waiting on the ring to get engaged. I guess if she wants to move out, we’ll go. That’s just what this is all coming to I guess.” Finishing off the beer, Al looked at the television. Why did he say this all as hurtfully as he could? He knew this was hurting Zac, he didn’t know why the other couldn’t be supportive. Why couldn’t Zac be happy for him? He knew Grace was much more of a woman than Zac ever liked, but she loved Al and he didn’t know if she was the one for him, but everyone told him she was. This was the right choice. Lifting his drink, he toasted with the other in a silent toast. Al didn’t want to be in this bar with Zac anymore if it meant hurting the other. “Cheers.” He muttered as he set down the glass. Men cheered, Al ordered another beer silently, his face strewing up into a frown. Growing up was painful, Al thought he grew so much already but this was harder. Choosing your lover over someone who you felt was a brother more than your own brothers. “Yeah, we’re too young for kids but we’re not too young to get married.” He nervous chuckled, scratching his head. “I guess I need to go ask her dad for permission to marry her. Scary shit man, scary shit. But hey, you and Andy need to split because even I know you’re both uninterested in each other. I mean, this might sound egotistical, but I think Andy wants my dick. I mean, who doesn’t?” He joked in an attempt to lighten the mood, but he almost felt as if it was impossible. He was hurting him, Al knew it, and yet he couldn’t stop himself.
words: 800 - tags: zac - notes: ugh |
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