Post by savannah on Dec 3, 2012 15:49:05 GMT -5
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[style=width:350px; font-family: josefin sans; font-size: 30px; letter-spacing: 0px; text-align:center; color: #000; line-height: 80%; text-transform: uppercase; padding-bottom: 5px;]SAVANNAH DANIELLE MALONE
CITIZEN. TWENTY ONE. COLLEGE STUDENT. DANCER. TRUSTWORTHY. CARING. EASILY MANIPULATED. DETERMINED. GOAL ORIENTED. NAIVE.
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,386,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, width:130px; height: 200px; background-image: url(http://i794.photobucket.com/albums/yy221/ONFIREFLYLANE/ICONS%202010/aAW041_31_DiannaAgron.jpg);][/style] | [style=height: 180px; overflow: auto; font-size: 9px;]JOURNAL ENTRIES: Well, Daddy just told us that we're moving again. Back to the United States! I'm going to miss Japan so much. We only had two years here... I constantly feel as though I'm just beginning to make friends before we're moved to some other part of the world. I'm sixteen years old! Sometimes I hate the fact that my dad is in the Marines. Especially since Cameron is planning on joining. He just turned 18. My brother has been everything to me and now he's ready to join the family business. I don't want him to enlist, but I can't tell him that. He's made his decision and I can only respect him for it. I'm so tired, though. Why can't I be a normal teenager? I don't have my license, I don't have a car, and I definitely don't have a boyfriend. But I know that my family loves me and at least I've gotten to travel, right? Anyway, it's time for ballet. I guess I should say goodbye to everyone. I hate this... _________________ I just told mom and dad that I chose to go to college in Boston. They seemed pretty supportive of it. After all, I'm eighteen years old and I can choose my own university... but I'm glad that they approve. I can't wait until Cameron comes home from Iraq. I can't watch the news, it is too scary. His leave was pushed back three months, so hopefully I'll see him before I go. I'll miss Texas. It seems like I can't be anywhere longer than two years, doesn't it? _________________ I went out with the girls in my dorm last night... I've never had so much fun, but now I feel so guilty. I got sooo drunk. I've never had that much alcohol before. I'm only nineteen. If I get caught... oh, god. Dad would literally murder me. College is definitely changing me and I'm not sure if I like who I'm becoming. Its... exciting, but I'm doing things that I never thought I would. I can't even remember most of last night... my head is pounding so hard. I'm pretty sure what I smoked wasn't a cigarette. And who was that guy that kept dancing with me? I hope I gave him my number. Ugh, how am I supposed to go to class today? I feel like throwing up. Well, I guess this is the life of a normal college student. Welcome to the world, Savannah Malone. _________________ I've been somewhere longer than two years! I'm beginning my third year in Boston and I love it so much. I've officially tried out for the cheerleading squad and made it! I don't know why I didn't try out years ago, but I love all of the girls already. They are so fun! I think my Dance Major helped get me there though. I think Trevor is going to ask me out soon... I've had a crush on him forever. He's been extremely flirty with me and has been inviting me out with him. I just love being here, but things are starting to get a little weird around town. There are police officers everywhere and there is crime everywhere. Dad has been worried, but he's in Germany, so what can he do anyway? Cameron's girlfriend is pregnant! I'm so excited to have a little niece or nephew running around. I want him to be done with the Marines, but now he has this interest in actually becoming a police officer and coming to Boston. I love my brother, but I don't want him to get in on this mess. So far, I've been pretty safe. Knock on wood... _________________ I never want to relive this night, but I have to write it down. My hands are shaking... I went out for my 21st birthday, so we went out to a ton of bars... just the girls on the squad... oh my god, why were we so stupid? We were all getting out of our minds drunk, because we just planned on walking home. But we were walking and Trevor was at this house party, so we went to check it out... and there were people all over the place... doing drugs on every surface... I've never seen so many drugs in my life. And Kate told me to just relax and have another drink. So I did. And we went upstairs with Trevor and some friends I've never seen before. God, I don't even want to admit this. He gave us drugs and said it would make our night so much better. I took the pill. It was fucking ecstasy... why would i take that? And then... I had to have... god, I lost my virginity. I'm sore and my entire body is exhausted, my head is pounding, the room is spinning, and I can't stop my hands from shaking. I just remember it all feeling so good, but it didn't stop when I wanted it to... and he pushed me down on the table. And people were watching.... and... everyone just let it happen... I can't... I'm done. I can't write anymore. I'm throwing this dumb journal away. |
