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Post by lena on Nov 1, 2012 12:38:01 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… Yawning, Lena McLean began her journey back to the apartment building. Her satchel was heavy on her shoulder, due to the lesson plans that she created for her intern job. Being an education major meant that she was required to be a student teacher at one of the local high schools, and it was a pain in her ass. Honestly, the students and faculty were friendly, it was the planning lessons and getting to and from school that killed her. She had to take two separate t-trains to get to the street she lived on, walk three blocks and then walk up two flights of stairs. She was whiney, but hated going home. Quickly, she claimed a seat on the train and watched as the doors closed; surprised that for once the train was empty. There were plenty of seats dispersed through the car, and that relaxed her. At least now she wouldn’t have to feel pressured to give her seat up for a little old lady. Her cell phone vibrated quietly in her back pocket and she shifted uncomfortably before pulling it out. The name Aydan flashed across the screen, taunting her. A groan escaped her lips and she pressed the ignore button, choosing to deal with him when she arrived at their apartment.
Honestly, the one night she got drunk was the one night that something stupid happened. She didn’t want to be married at twenty-two, yet she was and dealing with an annoying asshole. The only reason the two hadn’t immediately divorced was because was she not only in the spotlight due to her father’s fame, but he was in the spotlight due to his career. Divorcing immediately was not the smartest idea ever, and the two pretended to be in love whenever the public was involved. Usually, though, when they were alone, she could not stand him. Aydan was self-centered and rude, and while Lena tried believing there was good in everyone, she couldn’t. This man was rude and selfish and she wished that he hadn’t been at the bar when she had gone with her friends. Then she would have never been dared to get his underwear, then they would have never started drinking and dancing, and then the night would have never been a blur. Her eyes glanced down at the ring on her finger. At least it wasn’t ugly or fake. She stood up slowly, making her way to the train doors to switch tracks. And the worse part of being with him was that he expected her to do everything. Not only was she tired from work most days, but he was stuck making her make him dinner and all the other nonsense wives were supposed to do. It seemed like she was forty, not in her early twenties.
The second train trip was shorter, and it seemed like seconds until Lena was making her way down the street. Her shoulder was hurting and all she wanted was a shoulder massage…and other things. This whole being married thing was hard when she wasn’t on speaking terms with her ‘husband’ because, well, she had needs. And because her ‘husband’ was rude, she refused to cheat on him. But she had an itch that needed to be scratched, and it was getting to the point where she wanted to seduce Aydan…almost. Lena was not going to cave under his heated stare or his attractive body. Shaking the thoughts of him away, Lena unlocked the main door to the apartment before making her way up the stairs. Eventually, she made her way to the door of her apartment and unlocked it. Dropping her stuff on the couch, Lena tossed her hair up into a messy bun and made her way into the kitchen. She grabbed a box of pasta and got a couple of pots and pans ready for dinner, as well as some Italian bread. Spaghetti and meatballs with some garlic bread, tomato mozzarella salad and wine would be perfect for a night like this. Lena turned on the radio and began singing along to a pop song, swinging her hips as she began preparing dinner.
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Post by aydan on Nov 3, 2012 8:01:13 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A Y D A N
and i will love you, until you learn... "And that's a wrap! Good job everyone! Aydan, come see me, alright?"
The young actor sighed softly upon hearing those words, knowing that they were coming. His acting today had been absolutely awful. He just wasn't himself, which was something that his producers were taking note of. Furrowing his brow, he wondered why he was letting this young woman get to him the way that she was. He wasn't going to ruin his career because of some drunken decision right? Right. But there was a part of him that had feelings for her. He knew that and he couldn't deny it. However, in order to keep his distance, because he knew that she would never like him in that fashion, he remained forever the asshole when around her. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, and it was making them both suffer. Was it so hard to believe that maybe, just maybe, they could work out? What would it hurt to give it a try?
Right now, Aydan's pride was in the way. He couldn't let her think that she was winning in this marriage. However, what he seemed to fail to understand was that this was not a competition. This was something they were supposed to work at together. Maybe he just needed to lay it all out on the table. Maybe he just needed to show her the real him. He was an actor after all, and this facade that he had been displaying was something that he was tired of. He was a good person, he had a good heart. He was raised with values and manners and he knew how to treat a woman. His mother would have his head if she knew the truth behind this entire situation. That was exactly the reason why he hadn't brought Lena home yet. His mother would see right through it all. Furrowing his brow, the young man just made his way into his producer's office, knowing what was coming before the man even opened his mouth.
"Ay. listen. We know that you're newly married, and sometimes that kind of stuff keeps you distracted. Why don't you take a few days off and spend them with your wife. It's what you deserve. You've been working way too much, and that's our fault. Just...take a break, kid." Aydan's blue eyes softened as he stared at his producer, knowing that the man was right. However, the truth was, Aydan had been working so much so that he didn't have to see Lena. It was just easier for the both of them that way. But he was killing himself with the hours that he was putting in, and the strain was showing. Nodding, he stood up from the chair tiredly. "You're right Pete. I guess...I just miss her, you know?" He managed a shy smile at those words, not knowing if what he said was true or not. Did he miss her? He couldn't be certain. But his producer clapped him on his shoulder and sent him on his way. Thanking him for the small vacation, he ducked out of the set, grabbing his bag on the way by.
Shouldering it, he strolled quickly, knowing that this wasn't always the safest means of travel for himself. If anyone saw him he could be swamped, mobbed, but he didn't care. A part of him still wanted to feel normal, and walking home was the only thing that could give him that sense. Pulling his ball cap over his head, he pulled it down to shield his eyes and his face, yanking the hood of his grey sweatshirt of that as well. He was dressed down so he wouldn't stand out so much, and he knew that it would take him a long time to walk home. If Lena ever expressed any concern, it was when she found out that he had walked home from the set. The walk took more than an hour and it wasn't always through the best parts of Boston. However, he needed the walk, especially now more than ever.
Not bothering to text his "wife", he mused silently to himself, deciding to pull out his iPod as well. Shoving the buds into his ears, he clicked play on the device and tried to lose his mind as he randomly shuffled the music. The hour walk seemed to take less time with the music, and he was turning the corner to his fancy, ritzy neighborhood before he knew it. Well that wasn't that bad, right?
Making his way to the apartment buildings that lined a side street, he keyed his entry code and stepped into the main lobby. Smiling a greeting to the receptionist, he ducked into the stair well and made his way upstairs. Reaching the landing, he froze instantly, looking at the door. He knew that Lena was in there. He had told her he expected dinner from her every night. His expressive blue eyes narrowed at the thought of his own tendencies. What was he doing? What made it okay for him to treat her this way? It wasn't fair. He was as much to blame as she was. Sighing softly to himself, he made it to the door, throwing his key into the lock and unlocking the door before slipping inside. Keeping his eyes averted for the moment, he shut the door behind him and locked it, striding into the home and tossing his bag on the couch. He'd pick it up later. Right now, he needed to do something for Lena, and that something meant finishing dinner.
Closing the distance between them, he remembered how attractive she really was. Keeping it to himself, he didn't even utter the forced greeting he normally gave her. His eyes heated as soon as he took in the sight of her and he tried desperately to stem anything that he was feeling. Softly, he stepped behind her, knowing she was turned off before he even went to touch her. His front brushed her back because of his nearness, but he wasn't trying to seduce her. "I'll finish. You can relax, for once." His exhausted eyes held only honesty, and he managed to gently nudge her out of the way so that he could finish the preparation.
...to love yourself. Words;; IEK Muse;; Blab, blab.. I'm sorry! Tags;; Lena Notes;; I really do like him =D
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Post by lena on Nov 5, 2012 13:55:07 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… She would be lying if she didn’t find Aydan attractive, physically and emotionally. There were the little things he would do, like the way he would chuckle after she surprised him or the way he would ruffle his hair when he was a little confused. Moments like the time he touched the small of her back just to pass her in the kitchen made her stomach erupt with butterflies and it made Lena swoon. His appearance was always attractive, and she couldn’t help but be attracted to him. Yes, he was rude sometimes, but she wasn’t making the transition any easier. Lena was stubborn, and her father had spent most of her adult life trying to get her to relax and calm down, but it seemed impossible. Instead, she threw herself into her work and focused on becoming a teacher. It seemed petty, considering her father was a basketball coach and her husband was an actor, but she couldn’t help but want some normalcy. It was part of the reason she hadn’t changed her last name after they wed; she wasn’t ready to depart from part of her life, the life that was a little less complicated.
Her dress hugged her curves, and she tossed her sweater onto one of the kitchen chairs, showing her bare shoulders. Most of her clothing wasn’t exactly ‘teacher’ proof, but she was learning. The older and wiser teachers gave her looks the first day she walked in wearing slacks and a simple blouse. Apparently that wasn’t right, and Lena could already feel herself going back to the high school age that she had been so happy to leave behind. But she bit her tongue and walked around the high school with a smile on her face, as though no one was bothering her. It was an act, but Lena had always been talented putting on a façade. How else was she supposed to walk around her own house as though being married at twenty-two was normal? It was impossible, but she made it work. She smiled when she was supposed to and she went to the correct events wearing the correct attire. There was nothing else she could do and eventually she would learn the ropes.
Leaving her heels on, she began preparing dinner, something that was expected but not necessarily a chore. Honestly, though, the last thing the blond wanted to do was prepare dinner. Everything she had been doing was for others, and her day at work was stressful enough. Today was the first day she had to break up a fist fight and give a couple students detention. She hated being the bad guy, and sometimes, it felt like none of the other teachers wanted her to be around. There were a few of the younger teachers and one or two other interns that Lena was spending her time with, but she hated being new. She hated change, and it sucked. Everything about being a teacher meant change, and not for the first time, she wondered if this was the best career choice. It wouldn’t be bad to go back to school and learn again, but Lena hated failing and that was what this would feel like. She knew, deep down, the doubt was stemming from the bad day, but that didn’t mean she could toss the thoughts aside easily.
The door behind her opened and closed quietly, and Lena continued humming under her breath. His presence already heated her body up in a way she wasn’t familiar with. It took her strength not to turn around and flirt, or do something worse. It wouldn’t be illegal if something did happen, considering they were technically married, but she didn’t know if he wanted her in return. Their relationship wasn’t normal, and she couldn’t figure out a way to make it normal. His footsteps came closer and she felt herself steaming up, and Lena could feel herself almost combusting when he brushed against her back. Without realizing it, Lena leaned into his chest and relaxed, almost as though she had been waiting for something so simple. But she regained her façade as he mentioned finishing dinner, and without realizing it, he had taken over the pasta. She shuffled awkwardly next to him, not quite sure how to react. ”Oh. Thanks.” she said, her cheeks heating up and she hoped he hadn’t noticed.
Making her way over to where she had been preparing the salad, she began to chop the tomatoes and the mozzarella up before she stopped suddenly. Glancing at him shyly, she gave him a small smile. ”Do you want a glass of wine? Or a beer? I know I’m needing some wine,” she said, deciding that perhaps he wasn’t just acting nice. She grabbed one of her favorite bottles of wine from the wine rack and some glasses before pouring herself a healthy portion. ”How was your day? You look tired.” a simple conversation starter, but Lena was in need of some conversation. She was tired of spending the nights in silence or bitter words, and if he was willing to be nice, she could be nice in return.
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Post by aydan on Nov 5, 2012 20:39:05 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A Y D A N
and i will love you, until you learn... He was tired of the endless bickering, the fighting that never seemed to have a purpose. He knew that he was just looking for reasons to argue with her because it was easier than admitting that he could actually care about her. But he didn't understand. They were married. They could work on this marriage if they wanted it to work. The question was, did they want it to survive? It would be bad for both of their images if they divorced so quickly into it. But what was an acceptable amount of time to remain together? A year, two years, five? He didn't know, and he didn't want to continue to play the guessing game. It was exhausting, and Aydan could feel the fight leaving him. The truth was, he was attracted to Lena and for some reason, he felt as if he wanted to make this work. It didn't have to be a love hate thing between them any longer. What would it hurt to see if this thing worked out? Would it be that horrible if they actually fell for one another?
Furrowing his brow, Aydan thought through the options as he stood behind his wife, feeling her lean up against his chest as he stood behind her. For a moment, he closed his eyes, relishing in her very touch, feeling his very insides heat up at the lightness of it all. They could be gentle, they could be easy. It didn't have to be intense arguments and disagreements between them all of the time. They didn't need to be rude. They didn't need to force civility between them both. Sighing softly as he stepped to the side, not wanting to break their touch, but knowing that he needed to, he let his hand slip to her waist to help shuffle her aside, gently. When he pulled his hand away he felt as if his fingers were tingling from merely touching her. Glancing to her with his expressive blue eyes, he opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but then stopped suddenly, looking back at the boiling pasta. Letting it simmer, he clanked the lid back on it and stepped to the side of the stove, to where there was more counter space.
His hands worked effortlessly, and it was obvious that he had had experience in the kitchen before. So why hadn't he cooked before now? "Hey, why don't..." However, he had started speaking at the same time she had, and he blushed bright red. "Sorry. And you're welcome, but you don't have to thank me. I was...well I was going to say, why don't I start cooking dinner a few nights a week. We can split it, and then...well maybe we can make dinner together on the seventh day?" He was trying to be nice, and he hoped that it was working. His cheeks were still a bright red as he glanced nervously to her, and then started fixing the sauce, mixing the jars together and adding his own invention of spices. His style was slightly more spicy than normal, but he hoped she liked it. Remaining silent for now, he concentrated, his brow furrowed as he tried to get the amounts just right. He didn't want her to think that he was an absolutely horrible cook. Maybe he could fix her some meals that he had learned to make at home on the farm.
"I make a mean country fried steak." He managed lamely, looking to her as she went to fix the salad. Sighing in frustration at his stupidity, he found himself staring at her as she chopped the ingredients. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it, and he was losing himself in his want to just hold her in his arms, to kiss her, to do anything that a husband was supposed to do. When he heard the knife sounds stop, he glanced up from what he was doing, which was putting the mixed saucepan on the stove, and studied her shy smile, hearing her offer a drink. "Wine would be great, thanks." He offered her a small smile in return, feeling the color return to his cheeks. Why was he so nervous? Trying to relax himself, he stirred the sauce and then the pasta, making sure nothing was burning. As she poured the glasses, he took his own hefty serving and took a hearty sip. "My day..." He sighed, knowing that he shouldn't lie to her. "Pete gave me a few days off. Said I wasn't my normal self. Which is basically...I suck lately." He furrowed his brow nervously, but then shook it away.
"What about you? How was your day? You seem tense." And with that last statement, he worked up the courage to touch her. Pushing himself up from the counter he had been leaning on, he stepped to her back, leaning against her slightly for a moment before lifting her hair away from her shoulders and to one side. His hands, calloused from the hard farm life he had growing up, had softened slightly, but they worked expertly over her tense muscles, feeling the knots there. A small smile worked its way onto his features. "Relax, Lena. I promise, no fighting tonight, okay?" He offered her quietly, speaking softly in her ear. Enough was enough in his opinion. He knew that they were both stubborn, but maybe this was what she needed. To see that he would relent first. "You can't get a day off, huh? Maybe we could just spend a day together." It was a simple offer, but it held so many promises. They needed to learn one another and someone needed to take the initiative.
...to love yourself. Words;; IEK Muse;; Blab, blab.. I'm sorry! Tags;; Lena Notes;; I really do like him =D
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Post by lena on Nov 5, 2012 23:40:48 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… Their relationship was an interesting and intense one. Honestly, Lena had barely heard of Aydan before they met, sometimes hearing her friends mention how attractive and talented he was at acting. She had never been interested in the spotlight, and when she had begun to flirt with him months ago, she hadn’t noticed how famous he was. Their flirting, due to a dare to steal his underwear, had grown into a drunken marriage and they refused to allow the press to know of their wild night. Instead, when they woke up and were able to talk like normal human beings and not scream their heads off, Lena had mentioned that they could have ‘eloped’ and eventually, Aydan and his publicity team had agreed. Her father and mother had never been truly invested in her relationship life, an Lena had barely mentioned how she and Aydan had met. Instead, she introduced her father to Aydan and simply said they had been dating and eloped. Neither her mother nor father was pleased with the knowledge that they missed their only daughter’s wedding but there was nothing to do. Instead, William had invited Aydan and Lena over to dinner all the time and was taken by the actor…almost as much as Lena was.
Was this love? Maybe it could become love, but for the time being, she had no idea. Aydan was a kind and simple man, deep past the wall he put up. This wasn’t the ideal situation, and she knew for a fact that she was not making this any easier for him. Why would she? It was just as much as his fault as it was her, and she was bitter. But Lena knew that she had to make this situation a little bit easier for the both of them, and slowly began to become a little kinder. This, however, did not stop the snarky comments that escaped her lips sometimes. Part of her act to hate him stemmed from her insecurities, fed from her ex-boyfriend. Those thoughts were too bitter for a night that she was trying to salvage, and she pushed them out before they took over her mind and body. Instead, she felt Aydan’s hands slide gently over her waist before the two shuffled apart and she wished that he hadn’t moved. She missed the feeling of his chest, his hands, him.
A giggle escaped her lips and she smiled briefly as she realized that they had both begun talking at the same time. It was funny how in tune they were sometimes. Aydan’s voice was low and she realized that he was trying to be nice. ”You don’t have to all the time. I mean, I don’t mind…” Lena’s voice trailed off before she realized it was a peace offering. ”But that would be helpful. And it would be fun to cook together…maybe tomorrow?” her voice was questioning, almost as though she expected him to lash out at her for being too kind. It wasn’t something he would do per say, but something that she had once grown accustom to. Her eyes glanced to the spices he was mixing together and her eyebrows furrowed together, not quite sure what he was mixing. Cooking was a hobby and she loved being able to improve. ”What spices are you using? A old family secret recipe?” her voice was lighthearted, and Lena gave him a small smile. It was surprising how little he knew about his life before he became involved with the rich and famous.
Her eyebrows perked up. ”You do? I didn’t know that. I’d love to try it.” she said, honesty dripping from her voice. She didn’t even know that much about what he like and what he didn’t like something that every wife should know. Suddenly, Lena felt anything but a wife. Maybe he knew more about her then she realized, and that alone made her feel self-conscious. Needing a simple glass of wine, she poured herself and Aydan one, passing a hefty serving to him, their fingers grazing. She felt the heat, and felt her cheeks warm up. There was no reason, but she couldn’t help but be flushed in his presence. He was open about his day, and she gave him a kind smile. ”I’m sure you don’t suck …they’re just sensitive to your amazing talent,” Lena teased but got serious. ”I’m sure you aren’t sucking. I couldn’t imagine you being bad at something.”
Shrugging, her eyes went back to the tomato and mozzarella. ”It’s been hard being the new intern. Everyone else has their own friends and it almost seems like high school again. I almost…” her voice trailed off as she felt his hands brush against her shoulder. They were so cautious around each other, especially for husband and wife. Her shoulders began to relax and her eyes drifted shut for a moment. ”You are so good at this,” she moaned, before giving a chuckle. ”What other secrets don’t I know about you?” Biting her lip, she stifled another moan. ”That would be nice. I’d love to skip school tomorrow if you’re interested…” she turned her head slightly and gave him a smile.
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Post by aydan on Nov 7, 2012 1:00:25 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A Y D A N
and i will love you, until you learn... Aydan had never believed that he would be married at this age. He had just reached the pinnacle spot in his career, and he hadn't wanted anything to distract him, to pull him down. He had gotten three offers for auditions for up and coming movies, and he had been casted in two. Working on the two different movies was obviously time consuming, but he was lucky because the scenes were being shot in Boston for the first one. Of course he had to travel, that was a given. He wished sometimes that Lena wasn't so set in her ways to teach, but he understood her want and her need for normalcy. The honest truth was, he wished that she could and would come with him when he did have to travel. The longest he had ever been away from her was a week at the most, but he missed her. He didn't know why because he was so intent on making life miserable for her, but he did miss her when he was away. It was all so confusing, and the stress of it all was affecting his acting. He truly was sucking lately and he was terrified that the producers were going to let him go.
Trying not to think about that for the moment, he took a deep breath and exhaled softly. He just needed to relax, that was all. He needed to sort through his thoughts and organize everything. He hadn't always been the most organized person in his life. Even though he kept his apartment clean, organization was only apparent because of Lena. His life would be a whirlwind if it wasn't for her, and she had demanded that he put his home office in order. That was an entirely new yelling match between them, but Aydan forced those thoughts out of his mind as well. He didn't want to think about the negatives. He didn't want to think about all of the times he had messed up, of all the times that she was actually right and making sense and he was too pig headed to admit it. He was done being the asshole in this relationship. The mistake was a mistake that they had made together. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't his fault. It was both of their fault. He needed to get over it.
At first he had blamed her simply because she had come on to him. He hadn't known that it was a dare from her friends at the time, and it floored him and insulted him that it was when he did discover the truth. She hadn't been interested at all. She had only wanted to get his underwear so that she could prove to her friends that she wasn't a prude, or whatever she had said at the time. However, he could feel the bitterness rising over the situation and he didn't want that to happen anymore. What was done was done, and his feelings had obviously completely changed. Or, well maybe not obviously. He certainly wasn't cluing Lena in to what he was feeling now, and he thought that maybe he should. Sure, they still had their differences to work through, but he had a feeling that if they just tried it, things could be okay. He didn't know how to explain it, he just...knew. Sighing softly, he looked over to Lena as she spoke up. At least this conversation was civil, and could even be defined as friendly. "I know I don't have to Lena, but I want to. Please?" He questioned her now, his gentle blue eyes turning to gaze at her in hope.
As she acquiesced, an easy smile appeared on his features, and he nodded in response to her next response. "It'll be fine. I'm not that great, but...I can figure something out. I think. Maybe.. Okay, well I hope." He stuttered nervously, looking to her modestly. The truth was, he knew the basics. His mother had made him know that much at least in case he didn't settle down. Grinning charmingly, he went back to work on what he was doing, and then heard her question. Smiling mischievously, he glanced up at her innocently and shrugged his own tense shoulders. "That, beautiful, is something I cannot tell you. Or my mama would have my head. However, if you promise to keep it a secret, I might be able to whisper it to you." He told her playfully, his southern charm working its way into his words. He was done being mean to her. He was done making her upset. He just wanted them to be normal...or as normal as a young married couple could be. So this was him making a decision. He hoped she realized he was trying to make this work from here on out. Now Lena was going to be able to meet the real Aydan.
Taking another large sip of wine, he almost put the glass down, but then took another drink, as if it would settle his nerves. Finally placing the glass down with a clink on the counter, he looked to her as she questioned him again. "It's really the only good thing I know how to make. I can...well maybe I can teach you how to make it tomorrow?" He asked her shyly, wondering if that would be something that she was interested in. It was then that she had asked him about his day, and it was then that he decided to be open and honest with her. Maybe she would be able to make him feel better, but the worry was still evident in his eyes as he listened to what she had to say. He appreciated her trying to make him feel better, and he forced an uneasy smile on his face in return to her attempt at teasing him. "I haven't been amazing in anything that I've done lately. At home or at work." He muttered softly, feeling guilty and ashamed. It was obvious that he was extremely stressed out as he leaned against the counter now, not making eye contact. "I'm worried they're going to cut me from the movie Lena." He finally confided in her, sighing after his statement.
However, he wanted her to be able to talk to him as well, so he brushed off his own problems. "But, it'll work out. It always does. No worries." He said quietly, showing another new side of him. He didn't want her worrying about him. She had enough to worry about herself, which was obvious as she explained her day to him. When she spoke up, that was when he moved then to start massaging her shoulders, keeping a gentle, constant pressure. Working her muscles, he let his eyes wander to her neck, feeling the sudden urge to kiss her there and up to her jawline. His face heated instantly, and he was thankful that she was facing away from him so that she wouldn't be able to see the blush creeping up his cheeks. Shaking his head slightly, he kept massaging her, trying to distract himself from thinking about her any differently. "You almost what? Need me to show up and put them in their places? I'm here for you." He was serious, but teasing as well. He wouldn't get involved with her career because that was something that she was doing for herself. He knew when to stay out of things.
Hearing her moan in delight, and then question him, he grinned a bit. "Well, honestly...some things I can't explain to you. I have to show you." He cleared his throat as he realized how flirtatious he was being, and again he blushed, however she would be able to see it this time, for she turned to look at him to say she wouldn't mind skipping tomorrow. Smiling brilliantly down at her, he couldn't hide his excitement at the aspect of just being with her for the day. "I'll even call the school for you to get you excused so no one will give you a hard time." He said with a wink, also teasing. However, as he stared into her eyes, he suddenly lost all control and composure. His fingers lifted from her shoulder, and he gently grasped her chin, leaning in. "Lena, I..." But he couldn't finish his sentence, for he leaned in the rest of the way, his lips touching hers softly in a welcomed, much needed kiss.
He deepened it after a moment, but then suddenly seemed to realize what he was doing. Starting from that realization, he pulled away quickly, in embarrassment. His face was bright red now, and he felt like he had just ruined an evening that could have been salvaged. Bringing his hand to his lips as he kept his distance from her, but not willingly, he started stuttering. "Oh gosh, oh Lena. Lena, I'm so sorry...I know...oh gosh. Lena, I didn't...I wanted to...oh gosh. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I just...I really wanted to do that, and I wasn't thinking, and I'm so sorry!"
...to love yourself. Words;; IEK Muse;; Blab, blab.. I'm sorry! Tags;; Lena Notes;; I really do like him =D
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Post by lena on Nov 7, 2012 12:21:44 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… She was twenty-two, and most twenty two year olds were supposed to be worrying about how to find a job or dealing with hangovers. No, instead she was dealing with the headache of her awful job and the knowledge that she was married to a man whom she barely knew. Her job required her to stay in Boston, except for the few weeks a year she had off to travel, while Aydan was able to travel everywhere. The two hadn’t even had a honeymoon together, and she was sure he had no idea where she wanted to travel. Then again, it was her fault for always being stubborn and lousy when he wanted to talk at the beginning. Lena blamed herself for drinking that one night, and she didn’t think he understood that. Had she stayed in like normal, none of this would have happened and she would be living in a lousy apartment eating Ramon noodles every night. Instead, she had someone waiting for her to get home for her to do stuff, something that was good and bad at the same time. Lena loved knowing that she was technically never alone anymore, but she wished she had known him before everything had happened. Hell, she barely knew his movies let alone his personality before everything happened.
There were mistakes that they were making together and separately. Granted, she could ease up on the judgment that she more often passed, but he wasn’t making it easy. Everything she suggested was portrayed as the wrong thing, and he would roll his eyes or give some snippy comment. Lena hated the attitude he gave her, and she couldn’t take it. More often than not she screamed, he screamed, and she’d storm to her bedroom. Hell, they didn’t even sleep in the same room; she slept in the guest room instead, because they weren’t ‘in love’ as she put it when she first moved it. But maybe it was possible for her to feel something for the man that she lived with…crazier things had happened before in her life. Her mother often told her that marriage consisted of arguments, but it was hard for her to believe that sometimes when her parents had been married forever and were still happy. Arguments sucked, and she sucked for creating them.
Lena often wondered if Aydan resented her for flirting with him. He had been attractive, and everything had been a dare because she didn’t want to be a prude, but she didn’t hate him for it. Alcohol had been the deciding factor after he bought her a shot, and then eventually, she had gotten drunk. At first, Lena had hated him for getting her drunk, believing it had been part of some stupid plan to get her in bed. Obviously it had never been more wrong, and she had gotten over the anger. It hadn’t been either of their faults; she just didn’t know how to be pleasant around him anymore. There was too much of a façade to continue and it would take too much energy for her to truly be herself. She didn’t want to admit that she hated her job, that maybe she wanted to be a photographer like she had always wanted, and maybe she hated the fact that they couldn’t be in the happily married blissful state that newlyweds were supposed to be in. No, those were secrets that she would keep. Aydan’s voice was almost pleading, begging her to agree, and she relented, getting rid of her defense wall chip by chip. ”I suppose we could always work together. It could be fun.” she said, relenting, but giving him a civil smile. Were they being friendly? How weird.
A small chuckle escaped her lips. ”You know, I could always give you a cooking lesson. Living in the dorms at college made more creative dishes. Maybe I’ll even make pizza bagels one night…it’s not elegant, but it tastes good.” she glanced down at the tomato and mozzarella that was in front of her. Everything she had learned was taught by her mother before she hired a cook, and even after that, she sat with the chef more often than not and learned all about spices and foods. She loved cooking, and could never see it being more than a hobby. Sometimes, it was better having hobbies that would be nothing more than that. Her heart warmed when he called her beautiful as his talented hands massaged her. ”I won’t tell anyone, promise. I’ll just make you your favorite pasta sauce whenever you wanted.” she teased.
Her glass of wine mysteriously seemed to disappear, and she realized that she had been taking small sips during their whole conversation. Was she drunk? No, but it wouldn’t be a bad thing would it, if she became drunk? ”We could cook together tomorrow, that would be fun. Like I said, I love cooking and baking.” she teased, batting her eyelashes in his direction. She wasn’t stupid and could see the doubt and the insecurity in his eyes and Lena held Aydan’s hand, his heat radiating through hers. Lena wouldn’t admit it, but when he traveled for a week a month back, she had watched a couple of his movies and found herself enchanted by his acting ability. He had a gift, and if anyone thought that it wasn’t a gift, they were stupid. Maybe he could try live performing on stage, almost like Broadway or something…but it wasn’t in her place to tell him her opinions on his life. ”Aydan, they definatly aren’t. People have bad days, but most people remember the good ones. And if they cut you, I could always go down there and whoop their ass for you.” she teased, giving him a goofy grin. ”I could be terrifying when I want to.”
Sighing, she closed her eyes and leaned into his talented hands. ”No, I’m concerned that maybe I picked the wrong profession. I don’t like being bossed around like I’m stupid and I cannot stand punishing students. Maybe I need to reevaluate what I want, which is scary.” he was being honest with her, and Lena knew it was time for her to be honest with him. ”I was thinking about taking some photography lessons. It’s always been a passion of mine, and I was thinking that by becoming a photographer, I could travel with you.” Lena realized that she begun implying that she was feeling feelings towards him and quickly added to the statement, her cheeks flushed. ”Because I know you travel to amazing places. And you must be getting lonely”
She laughed at his statement and felt her flirty side beginning to emerge. ”Maybe you can, Mr. Williams, but I defiantly haven’t had enough to drink for that kind of talk,” she retorted, acting as though she was an old southern belle, despite not ever leaving Boston before in her life. ”I can show you Boston like you’ve never seen. I know all the hidden things in Boston that no one but the natives know about.” Lena said, priding herself on growing up in Boston. But she felt his hands drift away from her shoulders and she knew what was going to happen. Honestly, she didn’t want to stop him. And she was right not to, because she felt his lips against hers and she began to fall.
It was amazing to have someone close to her like this again, wanting to be with her and wanting to love her. Their kiss deepened and she could feel herself about to react when he pulled away, mid kiss, leaving her lips pursed into the air. He took a step away and she felt self-conscious about herself. ”No…it’s fine…” her voice trailed off softly. ”I didn’t mind it.” The urge to kiss again was there, but Lena held back. She always held back.
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Post by aydan on Nov 7, 2012 23:34:30 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A Y D A N
and i will love you, until you learn... Thinking about what had happened to them in the past was not going to help their current relationship. That was easy to see. In all of the arguments that they had been having, it always seemed to come up. Their argument always seemed to round back around to the drunken night that had caused them to make the biggest mistakes of their lives. However, he didn't want to view it as a mistake any longer. It could be seen as an opportunity. And opportunity for love, for a new beginning, for something other than the hate that they felt towards one another. Their relationship was rocky but he honestly didn't want it to be that way anymore. If they just started working positively on it, if they both wanted it to happen, then why couldn't it happen? What would it hurt to try? It certainly couldn't be as bad as what they were going through now, and it was obvious that they were both stressing in their careers and their daily lives because of it. Things needed to change and he knew that she wouldn't be the one to take that first step. That wasn't the kind of person that she was. He had seen that in the weeks that they had been together. He was going to have to make the steps if he wanted a change and right now, he was willing to do that.
Turning his gaze to her as she spoke up, he nodded with a smile. "It could be fun, you never know. Of course it'd be more fun with me there." He retorted with a playful wink, willing her to relax and open up a little more around him. He was trying to make things more simple between them, and it was obvious that he was trying to be nice. He wasn't acting. The vulnerability, the shyness hidden behind his normally certain gaze made it apparent that he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing here. Aydan wanted them to work. He wasn't sure what had made this so definitive now, but he knew that was what he wanted. Now, he just had to find out if she wanted it as well. Turning to look at her, he smiled once more. His easy going smile was a great contrast to his unsure eyes. "Pizza bagels. Can't say that I've ever heard of them, to be honest. Makes me wish I had gone to college." He sounded almost wistful when he stated that, but he knew what would have happened if he had gone. He would have never turned out the way that he had and right now, he didn't want to trade his job for anything. He loved acting, he loved the movies, he loved everything about it. Now he just wanted to love his wife and everything would be complete.
Sighing softly, he tried not to think so negatively, knowing it wasn't going to be good or beneficial to either one of them. Suddenly though, he was hearing her pleasant voice once more and he found that he was actually starting to enjoy this evening. It was the perfect way to unwind from his day, and he was thankful for it. He was actually rather sore, considering he did his own stunts. Today had definitely been a stunt-filled day and he was regretting agreeing to such a filled schedule. Trying not to think about it, he checked his sauce, glad to see that it was starting to bubble and pop. That meant it was done. Stepping away from her for the time being, he strained the pasta as well, then suddenly started mixing it all together in one big pot. It was how they did it at home. Once the spaghetti was finished, he smiled over to her. "Done! See, I can cook some meals. And as for that recipe....cayenne pepper. A lot of it. Makes it spicy." He said with a crooked smile, wondering if she'd be totally turned off by his addition to the recipe. It seemed to be an odd spice to use, but his entire family swore by it.
Letting it cool, he turned his attention back to her and listened as she spoke about his acting skills. Looking down for the moment, he tried not to show how much he didn't believe her words. It wasn't because he didn't want to, or because he didn't appreciate her support, but it was just because of how truly worried he was. He didn't want to screw this role up. It was a big break for him, and he was completely lucky to have it. And now he couldn't wrap his head around his part. Furrowing his brow, he managed to lift his gaze up with what he hoped was a casual shrug of his shoulders. He didn't want to worry her. "I hope they remember the good days, definitely. And I'm sure they'd be intimidated, for sure. You free in about three days?" He said with a good natured smirk, wondering how she would feel about his teasing now. It was so easy between them, when they were like this. What was awkward was when they went to touch one another. He so badly wanted them to be okay but if that was going to happen, they both needed to work on it. It couldn't be a push and pull type of situation. That wasn't going to work at all, and she needed to see that. Focusing on her again, he listened to what she had to say about her job and her desires, his eyes softening as she admitted the truth to him.
"Lena, hon. If photography is what you think you want to do, then you should do it. Wouldn't you rather know then regret never trying it? What better time to do it than now, seriously? Like you said, you could come with me when I film in other countries. I bet you could take some great pictures there. I leave for Germany in two weeks. Why don't you test things then? I know it's soon, but...it's an opportunity. Actually...hold on a second." He finished, pushing himself up from the counter that he was leaning on. Striding from the kitchen, he disappeared down the long hallway, opening the door to his bedroom. Going into the closet, he fished out the box for her, knowing what was inside. He had actually picked it out himself and wrapped it as well. That's why it looked like a child had attempted to tape pieces of wrapping paper together, but at least he had tried, right? Returning to her, he eagerly placed the box in her hands that was taped together like Fort Knox. "I talked to some of your friends, don't hate me. And this might help you make your decision." The Nikon camera was the latest and greatest, and she deserved it. Smiling once more, he took another long sip of the wine that she had poured him, noticing that hers was basically gone while his glass was nearly full. Trying not to let that bother him, he waited patiently, actually enjoying himself.
However, the moment was ruined with her drunken comment. The kiss, the everything. His face fell, his expression faltering. "Because you can only touch me while you're drunk, huh? Is that it?" He questioned, hurt evident in his tones. There was no nastiness, no spite, no nothing. He was just honestly hurt. He thought that they were going somewhere different tonight, but apparently he was wrong. Holding out his hands in a defensive way, he stepped back from her. "Lena, I'm...look I'm really trying here, okay? I don't know what you want from me, honestly. I'm trying to be different, I'm trying to be nice. I...I don't know about you, honestly, but I really want to try to make this work and..." Shaking his head, he forced himself to stop being so nice, to stop being so genuine. If she wasn't going to try, then it wasn't worth it. He quickly constructed the walls up around his heart, the cool demeanor retuning to his facial expression as he regarded her, trying not to look as upset as he felt. "Forget it. I can see I'm wasting my time." He tried not to snap, but he knew he didn't sound kind. Turning on his heel, he basically limped to his bedroom because the stunts of the day were finally catching up to him. More hurt than anything else, he slammed his door behind him and sat on his bed bitterly, holding his head in his hands. How was this ever going to work?
...to love yourself. Words;; IEK Muse;; Blab, blab.. I'm sorry! Tags;; Lena Notes;; I really do like him =D
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Post by lena on Nov 8, 2012 13:13:45 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… Tonight was a new night for the two, considering she had never seen Aydan so relaxed and talkative. Usually they would glide around each other in silence and occasionally argue about something that had no meaning in their overall relationship. Right now, however, he was being open and creating conversation that had not too much meaning, but meaning all the same. Aydan wanted to be open, wanted to be civil, and there was no reason for Lena to hate him for that. Arguments wore her out, and she was sure that he was just as tired as she was on a daily basis. No one wanted to come home from work to prepare for another tiresome fight that really had no need to develop. So Lena was grateful that Aydan was being kind and charming, handsome and adorable and all the other words that would complement a southern gentleman. Part of her frustration over their situation, and also part of the reason why she argued with him constantly, was because she was under immense stress every single second of every single day. There was the knowledge that maybe she wouldn’t succeed as teacher, the knowledge that her parents were disappointed in her for not going into detail about the marriage, and also the knowledge that she was sure Aydan did not want to be with her. That, however, was the worse and she knew that she would have to overcome the insecurities. No one was mad, it was her being stressed.
She knocked their hips together and let out a very girlish and very not-like Lena giggle. ”Anything with you would be enjoyable.” she teased, feeling herself begin to truly relax. No longer was she pretending to be ok with the situation, she was actually enjoying herself. Simplicity was golden, and if Lena began to fall for Aydan, she was sure she would be able to trust him more. Trust was something earned, and if the two continued to be on this path, it would be earned quickly. He was actually someone she enjoyed being around. Lena glanced into his eyes before dropping them, not being able to understand the vulnerability but, at the same time, sure that her eyes were reflecting something similar. Her smile was simple and relaxed, but she was sure that she was looking very insecure. Aydan had some sort of enchanted power over her, and it scared her. ’Ugh, college. You didn’t miss much. I spent most of my time in my dorm room studying. Eventually I got tired of cafeteria food and started creating my own creations,” she mentioned with a shrug, memories of lonely nights coming to her mind. Most students went out to get drunk, while she understood the importance of learning and understood that education went far. She was in all the clubs she could possibly be in and also remained in the top ten percent of the students in her grade.
Her eyes glanced at the stove, alerting her senses that the meal was almost done. Swiftly, she began placing the tomato, mozzarella, basil and oil in a fancy way, creating the perfect dish. She placed the dish on the kitchen table before lighting the candles, just for fun. Everything else was set up elegantly, and for a moment, Lena wondered when the last time they had eaten dinner together. Normally, the food would be out and she would take her dish into her office in order to work, or Aydan would come home late. It was rare that they ate together at the same time whilst sitting across from each other. She made her way back into the kitchen, ready to help assist bring the pasta out when he began speaking once more. ”You’re a big kid now!” she teased, her tone light and carefree. ”Ah, cayenne pepper. I’ll have to remember that for future reference,” she mentioned, storing the spice in the back of her mind. She loved adding just a little extra flavor to a dish and was all about improving.
He was lying, she knew it, but she didn’t want to confront it. Obviously he wasn’t deeming her trustworthy enough to discuss his feelings and insecurities. It hurt, because she had been completely honest with him so far into the night. For a moment, Lena’s temper flared, but she refused to acknowledge it. Most likely, she was just looking into a situation that had nothing to do with her…but for some reason, she cared. She wanted him to believe that she believed in him, and for some reason, Aydan didn’t. Lena had no idea why he was doubtful on whom he was as a person and the talents he possessed. ”I’m sure they will. People shouldn’t judge other people; I doubt they’re judging you. And of course, I can clear all plans to go whoop some ass. No one messes with my Aydan” she knocked hips with him and giggled, but at the same time, being completely seriously. No one messed with the people she cared about, and it was obvious that she was growing feelings for him.
Her heart skipped a beat when he called her hon. She was his honey bunny! Next he’d be making cute names, like Len or Lenny, and then her heart would just explode with emotions. Her mouth was open to respond to his comments, about to admit that she wanted to go to Germany with him, but he disappeared. Lena shifted awkwardly and glanced around, feeling her face flush. Her eyes met the mirror across the room and she noticed that she looked like a love sick puppy. Quickly fluffing her hair with her fingers, Lena realized that she cared. She cared what he thought about her, and these emotions exploding in her stomach were something she wasn’t familiar with. There were genuine feelings, and it scared her. Her eyes widened when he presented a poorly wrapped gift, and smiled. ”Aydan, you didn’t have to get me anything…” her voice trailed off and she gently unwrapped the box. ”Oh Aydan…This is so nice!” her hands traced the outline of the box as her eyes lit up, imagining the two taking pictures of each other. ”And Germany? Oh Aydan, this is the best.” Her lips brushed his cheek in a moment of passion and her cheek were flushed, her glass of wine forgotten.
Looking at Aydan, she was confused. No, she was flirting. She wanted to be with him when she was sober, where was this coming from? Well, Lena knew where it was coming from; anyone with a brain would be able to figure it out. ”Aydan I was kidding…” her voice trailed off, looking at him intently. Gently, she placed her gift on the counter and tilted her head. His voice got louder and Lena slowly felt her blood pressure rise. His words were harsh and intense, and she could hear the tone he was using. ”I’m trying too! Am I not allowed to make jokes anymore? It seems like when I talk to you I have to watch what I say because I don’t want to insult you. I’m trying so hard to make this work, and I don’t understand why you can’t see this,” she said, her voice getting louder, but the hurt was evident in every syllable. Aydan scampered into the bedroom and Lena stood confused in the kitchen, their meal slowly becoming cold. Tears were peaking at her eyes and she turned, facing the sink. Quietly, she poured the wine down the drain and cleaned up some of the mess, the pasta all but forgotten. Why was everything so difficult around him? Her emotions were creeping up her, confusing her mind and driving her insane. Finally, with enough courage, Lena marched to his bedroom, her heals clacking on the wooden floor. She reached the door, pushed it open and strolled in, as though she knew what was going to happen. Lena didn’t, and that’s what scared her. Coming to face him, she grabbed his hands and slid onto his lap, making sure that their eyes were meeting. ”You can’t honestly think that I don’t want to be here with you every second of every day. You are important to me and while you are taking things a little personally right now, I want you to know that I want this to work with all my heart.” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. And without waiting for a response, she pressed her lips against his, pressing all her emotions into it. Here Lena was, straddling his waist, declaring her feelings…if he didn’t believe her, there was an issue.
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Post by aydan on Nov 8, 2012 13:39:28 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A Y D A N
and i will love you, until you learn... They had been having such a nice evening. It had been enjoyable, it had been fun. It had been something that Aydan imagined doing for a long time to come, but he had just ruined whatever chance that they had at tonight because of his sensitivity. All the excitement over the camera, all of the happiness at her coming to Germany with him to test out if she wanted to do photography was swallowed by his guilt and his insecurities. Aydan may have had a presence on the big screen, but when it came down to his every day, normal life, he was about as self-conscious as a high school student. He didn't know how to act around Lena, he didn't know if what he was doing was right. He figured that things were going positively tonight simply because of the flirting and the hip bumping and the...they were just getting along. And then he had to take something that she said and misconstrue it. It seemed he was always looking for a fight and it irritated even him. How must she feel? Rubbing his face in his hands now, he sighed heavily, disappointed in himself.
He was making this way too damn difficult for the both of them. He had just ruined a perfectly acceptable evening. He had ruined their dinner, he had ruined a meal that they actually could have enjoyed together for once during their relationship. He had thought that with the way tonight was going, they could be on the path to something new. He had feelings for Lena. He knew he did. He couldn't deny them and right now, he didn't want to. He was a fool for blowing her words out of proportion like that and he wished that there was something, anything that he could do to make it up to her. He had made a horrible mistake, and he wasn't going to be forgiving himself very easily after this.
However, he had been honestly hurt. Even though it was a joke, it was a joke that hit home. Their night of union, their night of marriage had been one made because of drunken behavior and decisions. Since then, they hadn't even touched one another unless they had to in public. Even then, it was only simple hand holding and a kiss on the cheek, or something of the sort. The press had commented on their lack of physical attraction, but everyone had passed it off as them being new in their relationship. It had been such a whirlwind after all, and Aydan didn't want anyone thinking that they weren't getting along. It wouldn't be good for Lena and her family, or her reputation, and it wouldn't be good for his up and coming career. He was launching ahead of other actors and he didn't want to stop that steady climb. That was selfish of him however. Could they honestly sacrifice their happiness for the success of their lives? He didn't know. It wasn't fair to her. He couldn't force her into something like this even though it was a joint decisions. Frustrated now, he was about to turn to get up and walk back to her, when he suddenly heard his door open.
Confused, he furrowed his brow and turned to gaze over his shoulder. Lena was not a confrontational person. She wasn't the one who came after him, not usually. Normally she would stalk off into her room after he slammed his door, or she would stalk off before he could leave and slam her door in his face. That was how things worked between them. However, that was not what was happening now.
As Lena approached him, he raised his blue eyes to her in question, watching her for her reaction. She looked hurt and upset, and he didn't blame her. He had just childishly ruined their evening. Her hands suddenly covered his though, nearly pinning him to the bed, and he felt a familiar heat rise from the very depths of his stomach. His urge, his lust for her was heady and desirous, despite their small argument of only minutes before. As she straddled him, he felt his heart flip in his chest, and he did his best to control his urges for her, although he wasn't doing a good job of it. Trying his best not to become aroused from her simple position on top of him in this way, he listened to her words, say the honesty and compassion in her eyes. She was serious. She deserved the same in return. She wanted them to work. She wanted to be with him. That simple fact alone was enough for him to find his hope again, and as she kissed him, he lost all doubt. Bringing his hand up, he gently cupped her face as she kissed him, returning the passion, returning the emotion. Desperation filled him of not wanting to lose her and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.
He moved them easily, gently twisting her so that her back was now on his bed and he was leaning over her. Scooting them up so that they were laying on the bed fully, he kissed her softly once more, lightly, before pulling back and looking down at her. He reached up, softly tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry, Lena. I'm just...I'm stressed from work and taking it out on you, and I'm honestly sorry. I want us, this to work too. I want it more than anything. I care about you, so much." He told her honestly, compassionately. His eyes held only honest, and in another moment, he leaned forward again, capturing her lips in another breath taking kiss. This felt right. There was nothing awkward, nothing forced. Hope filled him in that moment and for the first time in their relationship, he felt like that they had a future together.
...to love yourself. Words;; IEK Muse;; Blab, blab.. I'm sorry! Tags;; Lena Notes;; I really do like him =D
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Post by lena on Nov 8, 2012 14:05:26 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… It wasn’t as though she didn’t understand; she did. What she said was rude and it was shallow and it wasn’t that funny, considering their union was created by them becoming intoxicated. She had just wanted to be cute and charming, everything Aydan was acting like. But that was the problem, sometimes. Lena never knew if he was acting around her or if he was being genuine. She tried to believe that he was acting honest and opens with her, but sometimes, it was hard for her to grasp. He had so much talent that could be used against her, and Lena sometimes questioned why one moment he was perfectly rude and the next perfectly amazing. These thoughts would never leave her mind, with the insecurities of their relationship already evident, but she couldn’t help herself from thinking that every once in a while. But Lena was trying, and that was all she was able to do during a situation like this. The guilt of the cruel words was eating at her, and she almost went to her room to cry. Almost. Instead, she did something that evidently surprised him and her.
There he was, in his glory, looking sad. Obviously they were both feeling the same emotions, or else there would be no sympathy from either. She was beginning to actually care about him, and that was all that mattered. Lena wanted them to be happy together and to succeed as a team. Right now they could barely go through a meal without someone yelling, and that had to change. Instead of marching to her room and slamming the door like a normal night, Lena swallowed her pride. She made her way into his room, ready to lay everything on the table. And she did, by placing herself in a very couple-y position. As she straddled him, she felt her cheek become flushed with passion at the idea that they were together. This was normal for couples to do, yet here she was, feeling as though she was breaking some code. They hadn’t been intimate since their first initial night, and she could barely remember that. Now, however, she was sober and ready to be honest. There was no reason to lie about anything and she wanted them to succeed at all they tried.
She pushed her lips into his and was granted with access. Their lips parted and battled for dominance and Lena felt her arms wrap around his neck, pushing herself closer to him. Her body grinded against his and she continue to allow the burning passion she was feeling for him escape. Her dress had begun to ride up around her legs and before she knew it, she was on her back, looking up. His lips grazed hers once more before they separated, she looking up at him. Lena had a small smile, only imaging how flushed her face was and how messy her hair was. There was nowhere else in the world she would rather be, and she was sure she had made that evident enough.
Biting her bottom lip, she continued to look at him. ”You need to be honest with me, ok? And know that I don’t always mean what I say. But I’m glad you want to make this work…” her voice trailed off as their lips met once again. She pulled him down, bringing them closer than before, her nimble fingers working the buttons of his shirt. Lena briefly pulled away, her lips trailing down his neck before using his weight against him and flipping them over so she was resting in his lap again, his back on the bed. Giggling, her hair fell over her face and she continued the attempt to remove his shirt. ”Have I ever told you that you look dashingly sexy when you get frustrated?”
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Post by aydan on Nov 8, 2012 22:47:27 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A Y D A N
and i will love you, until you learn... The fact that she had even come to his room after their argument was throwing him for a loop. This wasn't how their arguments went. When they fought, they stormed off into their respective corners and they tried to sleep with all of the uncontrollable thoughts in their minds. Sometimes, he would go to her room and attempt to talk it out, but it would always end in a screaming match. It was awful, and he wouldn't be that surprised if the neighbors were aware of their strained relationship. Trying not to think negatively now, he watched her, wanting nothing more than to be done and over with the fighting. It was aggravating, it was frustrating, and it was tiring. He knew that it was taking its toll on her as well. He could read it in her expression now as she straddled him. This compromising position was also not something that he was expecting, but he couldn't say that he minded it. They needed to work on their relationship, and the area that needed the most work was obviously where the intimacy level was concerned. Maybe this meant that things were changing.
No, it definitely meant things were changing. They had both laid their feelings out on the table. They both had said that they wanted this to work and that filled his heart with hope. He wasn't acting when he admitted his wants and his desires to her. He wasn't acting when he was being nice and carefree with her either. That was who he really was. The only time he did act was when he was an asshole. Sometimes his temper would rise naturally, but he wasn't one to lash out like he did. His mother had raised him better. His mother would seriously have his head if she found out what was going on and he didn't want to risk that. He really didn't want to be the object of her derision. He knew that if she met Lena, she would love her. But right now, he didn't need to be thinking about his mother and her reaction to his wife. There were more important matters on hand at the moment, and he refocused, looking at her through lust filled eyes.
Feeling his wife's body grind up against him sent warm, pleasurable sensations flying through his belly, and he could feel the moan building in his throat. Not wanting her to know what she did to him just yet for fear of rejection, he continued the kiss until he turned her over on her back. He was aware of his arousal but prayed that he could hold out so that he wouldn't make a fool out of himself. The truth was, he had been desiring her for so long that he didn't know how long he could hold himself together in her presence like this. They both had needs, and those needs had gone too long without being fulfilled. He was ready and anxious to reach that level of intimacy with her again, and what made it even better this time was that they were both sober. So, he didn't even fight her as she used his weight against him, using the momentum to push him over so that he was flat on his back. Feeling her fingers brush across his chest to play with the buttons, he looked up at her. "You're so beautiful." He whispered softly, only truth and wonder behind his words.
Blushing from his adorable admittance, he closed his eyes for a moment as she continued working at the buttons of his shirt, nearly ready to whine because of how long this was taking. However, he knew they couldn't do this hard and fast as they had that first night. This time had to be different. This time would be like their first time. Opening his eyes, he heard her giggle and couldn't help but grin brightly up at her.
Remembering her words from only moments ago, he kept looking up at her, knowing that she needed to know he was going to be honest and open. If he was worried about being fired, he needed to tell her. If he was worried because things just didn't felt right in his career any longer, then he needed to be honest. And if something was bothering him about their relationship, then he needed to approach it with honesty and an open mind. "I promise to be honest Lena. But you have to do the same thing. We need to talk to one another to make this work, okay? No more yelling." In that moment, he stopped their passion to hold up his hand, giving her his pinky finger. "Pinky promise." He gave her an adorable grin once more, and once the deal was sealed, he allowed himself to focus back on the heat of the moment.
When she finally succeed in unbuttoning his shirt, he sat up a bit to help her slip it off of him, revealing his bare chest. Hearing her next words, he gave her a look that was playfully offended. "Well I'll try to look more frustrated from now on then." He teased openly, drawing his brows together in consternation, trying to perfect his frustrated look. However, he couldn't focus for very long.
Looking up at her with desirous eyes, he reached for her dress, seeing the zipper in the front. Why it was there, he wouldn't question, but it allowed him easy access. Pulling the zipper down, he didn't hesitate. Her dress had already rode up her legs because of her position on him, and he pushed it up and over her head without pause, his breath coming fast and hard. Reaching up, he slowly brought his hand around to the back of her neck, gently, pulling her down to him so that he could kiss her once more. His lips found hers with a new desperate feel behind them and he ground his hips into her, unable to contain himself for much longer. "Lena." He whispered against her lips, pleading with her. He needed her, he had needed her. Now he just wanted her to need him back in the same way.
...to love yourself. Words;; IEK Muse;; Blab, blab.. I'm sorry! Tags;; Lena Notes;; I really do like him =D
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Post by lena on Nov 12, 2012 13:00:48 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… No more yelling. That was easier said than done, but if Aydan was willing to attempt, then Lena would attempt the same. There was something different then all those weeks ago when they rushed into the union. Now, Lena understood Aydan. She knew his favorite color was any color that wasn’t yellow, that his toothbrush was green, that when he laughed, he got the most adorable dimples…Lena understood. The blond was beginning to understand what all the love songs were about, about what Shakespeare wrote about. There was something there between the two that she had never really experienced before, and the idea that it was happening to her after all this time made her fill with joy. Maybe this would be different, maybe she would actually open up to someone that would actually give a damn. It had been so long since Lena had actually felt secure enough with another human being, and that security was growing with Aydan. She felt as though he actually cared about her, and hopefully, this wasn’t just a ploy to make this relationship last or something ridiculous like that. Their pinky’s intertwined and she placed a quick kiss on the bond. Yes, she would promise. ”Promise. We can do this” Lena said, believing every word she said.
His look was adorable and she felt herself melting. Her fingers gently scratched down his chest, stopping just above his jeans and she bit her bottom lip. ”I’m sure we could figure something out,” Lena teased, looking pleased with herself as she realized just how ready he was for her. After all, her position over him gave her the perfect position to feel him.
Lena couldn’t look away from his stare and felt his fingers tease her skin. Her blood was hot and she felt herself slowly losing control. Aydan gently removed her dress, and she was pleased that her lingerie matched and made her feel as though she was just as gorgeous as he thought she was. Aydan gently brought their lips together, and she felt herself desperate for relief. Her body was in need of him, and somehow, she managed to be flipped onto her back, his lips on hers. Her nimble fingers began its journey to remove his pants, but found herself entirely too distracted on the way his lips felt against hers, the way they seemed to move as one. ”Aydan,” she whispered, her lips close to his ear ”Let go” and she meant it. Lena wanted him to realize that she wanted him, needed him, physically and emotionally. A soft moan escaped her lips as their hips grinded into each other and she felt herself becoming more physically frustrated. ”Aydan, please” she begged, aching for all of him.
It had been so long since Lena had craved another human, especially one that she had detested not too long ago. But what she and Aydan had was unique and she was blessed that she was able to experience it. Not many people could admit that the arguments they had could be fuel to make their passion hotter. No matter what she said, Aydan always seemed to accept forgiveness and she returned the favor. Most people would have left the relationship at the first sign of conflict, but something was asking her to stay. There was something with Aydan that she knew she would never find with anyone else, and that made her stay. He was compassionate, sweet, gentle, frustrating, and stubborn and everything she was. That was why their arguments never seemed to falter, but Lena knew that if their arguments could be forgotten and accepted, they were perfect for each other.
Her lips caressed his neck and she began her way down his neck before meeting his lips again. Lena pulled away slyly; lifting the belt she had removed without him knowing, and grinned like the Cheshire Cat. He was losing his touch to surprise her, but Lena knew that she was a sneaky one. Her legs wrapped around his back, and even though there was still fabric separating the two, she wanted him to continue. She wanted to be reassured that this wasn’t just her feeling the passion and heat between the two.
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Post by aydan on Nov 12, 2012 23:57:11 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A Y D A N
and i will love you, until you learn... Their intense arguments kept things interesting, that was for certain. However, he knew that there was another reason that they didn't call this relationship quits. It wasn't just because their reputations would be ruined momentarily by the split so soon after they were married. They had explained the wedding affair as something quiet and family oriented, with no outside friends invited. It was the only way that they could pull it off. But Aydan held fast to this seemingly failing relationship because he was determined that somehow, they would find the hope to continue with it. Somehow, they could and would be strong enough to pull this thing together and actually care about one another. He wasn't ready to let go yet because he was afraid that he would always be wondering what if? What if they had actually stuck with it? What if they actually tried? He was certain that Lena felt something for him, even if it was something confusing. He certainly felt something for her, which was quite obvious as he remained below her, slowly becoming more and more aroused because of her ministrations.
However, he was allowed to catch his breath as she relented to link her pinky with hers. An easy, hopeful smile crossed his lips as he stared up at her with adoration in his eyes. It was genuine, it was honest, it was sincere. He did care about her, and if that wasn't apparent now, he didn't know how to make anything more clear. Tightening his finger around hers, he laughed slightly as she kissed her hand to seal the bond, and he too repeated the action. He wondered if that was going to become one of their rituals down the road, for he knew now that they would stay together to make this work. He would love to see what little quirks they came up with as a couple, and if pinky promises were the one childish thing that they adopted, he was fine with that. Something akin to a manly giggle came from his lips after they made their promises, and he pulled his hand away to rest it back on her thigh.
As he studied her beautiful face, he noted the pleased expression on her face, and he let a groan of failure come forth from his lips. She knew. She could feel his arousal and it was slightly embarrassing for him that she had gotten him so hot and bothered so quickly. "Shhh. Don't say anything about it." He pleaded cutely, in embarrassment. He brought a finger up to her lips and decided in that moment to distract her by pulling her dress over her head. He let the article of clothing to fall from the bed that had previously been occupied by only him at night. Hopefully from now on they could sleep in it together. He was looking forward to it. As she sat over him in just her lingerie, he turned an appraising blue eye over her, relishing in the sight of her. His breathing became quick and short, and he could feel his heart beating rapidly as her lips touched his, as her fingers shifted slowly, softly down his chest and to his pants. His hips jerked involuntarily in anticipation of her, and as his whispered name left her lips, he turned his eyes to her in understanding.
Her asking him to let go was all that she needed. All of the insecurities, all of the doubts disappeared from his heart and his mind in that moment, and he lost himself in her. Reaching for her lips again, he felt her hips grind into hers once more, heard her feverish plea and knew that he couldn't hold back from her much longer. As he had managed to flip them once more so that she was no beneath him, his hot fingers trailed up her body, up her abdomen, over her breasts, slowly stopping at her face, his hand cupping her face, his thumb playing gently over her lips. "I need you." He whispered in admittance to her, and then allowed his lips to find hers once more. However, she broke her kiss from him, her lips trailing down his neck, sending electric shocks up and down his spine as she worked her touch over him. A breathless sigh escaped from his mouth and then she suddenly pulled away from him, his belt held victoriously in her hands.
He raised in eyebrow in response, the smile lighting his features as he however over her, his hands bracing him so he wasn't fully on top of her. "Well, aren't you sneaky." He finished with a wink and then rolled off of her for a moment, unable to wait any longer. He arched his back up off of the bed, slipping his jeans from his hips, letting his boxers fall down with them. Now the only thing keeping them apart was her lingerie, and as he loomed over her once more, he made short work of her panties, pulling them slowly down her legs, trailing after his hands with kisses down the inner length of her thigh. Once she was free from that article of clothing, he let his hands fall to her bra, unclipping it in front and exposing all of her to him. He didn't know how much longer he was going to last. Throwing her bra to the floor with the rest of their clothes, he hovered over her, his eyes looking desirously into hers.
"Tell me you want me Lena, please."
He whispered feverishly, wanting to know that she needed this, wanted this as much as he did. He could tell that this time was all about their needs and their desires, but it was also about proving their feelings for one another, about fulfilling the promises that they had just made. And that did more to him than any thing else ever could.
...to love yourself. Words;; IEK Muse;; Blab, blab.. I'm sorry! Tags;; Lena Notes;; I really do like him =D
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Post by lena on Nov 13, 2012 11:10:32 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… One of her favorite childhood movies was Beauty and the Beast and there was a line that explained all of the emotions that she was feeling; there was something there that wasn’t there before. Miss Potts pranced around the library singing that line, and it reflected greatly on what Lena felt towards Aydan. He was, by far, not a beast, but their chemistry has developed over time. Before, there relationship had been based solely on anger and frustration, but because they had begun to spend the majority of their time together, she had observed the little things. It was the way he touched her lower back in public or the way he would play with her hair when surrounded by company that made her insides go crazy. At first, Lena had simply passed it off as feelings of annoyance, but the moments that Aydan didn’t pay attention to her drove her crazy. There was something between them that couldn’t be explained and couldn’t be changed. That was fine, because as of right now, she loved the feelings he was bringing towards her. Yes, there was a small part of self-doubt that was bothering her, but when the timing was right, she would simply address the situation. Right now, however, she was focused on the moment between them.
His fingers skimmed across her thighs and she shivered in anticipation. But Aydan distracted her momentarily from the heat that was traveling through her body and she giggled. A smile teased her lips, but as he had asked, she refused to mention what he was embarrassed about. However, she was pleased that she had gotten some sort of important and arousing reaction out of him. His hips bucked into hers and she withheld a moan of pleasure from escaping, refusing to allow just how aroused she was in the moment. Sure, Lena knew that he would be able to tell in moments, but if she was able to keep the façade that she could handle the passion better then him, well, she would win the game. Lena felt his fingers trailing up her body, from her abdomen to her face and she felt herself jerk in response as his fingertips touched her sensitive skin. But the belt was in her hand, and Lena held it as though it was a trophy and giggled when he realized what she had done.
”I have my moments,” she teased, tossing it over the edge of the bed with a small thud. Aydan rolled off for a moment and Lena squirmed with anticipation before feeling his lips touch her lips. A gasp escaped her lips and she bucked towards him, unable to control her urges any longer. His name escaped her lips in a pant and she grasped his hair, pulling him towards her into a steamy kiss. ”I want you inside of me right now,” Lena gasped, thanking herself for staying on the pill.
Quickly, and swiftly, they were together as one and her breath became short. She could feel him and her fingers dug into his back. Lena knew she would leave a mark, but in her mind, she would be the only one who would ever see. There was no way she would ever allow herself, and allow him, to find anyone else. This was what they were, and she accepted that. As her release surprised her, Lena moaned his name once more before falling like a rag doll back onto the bed, her chest heavy.
Her body glistened with sweat and her hair was stuck at odd angles, but all she could do was take in the man around her. Lena cherished the sight and wished that she had her camera, in order to capture the perfect piece of man in the entire world.
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